IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The movement of people from villages to cities for work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems associated with this? What measures can be taken to solve these problems?

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Undoubtedly, many
people
Use synonyms
 are moving from rural areas to urban centres, and most of the time they are looking for work or academic opportunities.
According to
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 specialists, serious problems can happen in both places with
this
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 migration of
people
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, it could be controlled,
however
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, authorities should invest time and money in many strategies. So, let`s talk about it in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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, traffic is going to be the main problem faced by those who live in urban areas, there,
people
Use synonyms
 usually spend a lot of hours driving from home to work and from work to home. Indeed, an article written by a journalist specialising in the urban environment brings up some important data for society.
For instance
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, folks are spending about 50% more time in the car than 4 years ago, and the cost of living is increasing rapidly. In my opinion, Federal Government should invest more in urban places to avoid
people
Use synonyms
 thinking of moving to big
cities
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, in Canada large groups of
people
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, are looking for Calgary as an opportunity to live with a quality of life.
Second,
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Majors who run small
cities
Use synonyms
 have been struggling against a lack of specialist workers, and it could bring trouble for those who live in these sites. Unfortunately, it became a real situation and has to be resolved or these
cities
Use synonyms
 will face an important migration crisis in future.
On the other hand
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, a young Major from a small city in Brazil called Americana created a project to retain
people
Use synonyms
 and take attention to those who live in big
cities
Use synonyms
.
Besides
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 he has been investing public resources in infrastructure he even got private resources to invest in houses
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Condon, a big shopping mall, and an economic centre where everything is connected. Well, now they have a big structure in a small place. In conclusion, there is impossible to control migration,
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otherwise
Add a comma
,otherwise
show examples
 authorities must studying about humanity's future and understand how they can provide benefits for society.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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