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Band 6

The leaders of most organizations tend to be older people. However, some argue that younger people make better bosses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#leaders #organizations #people #argue #bosses
One of the major issues that concern our society today is whether older individuals have better abilities to be leaders or whether the young generation is more suitable for that. Strong arguments exist on both sides, which implies that it is worth examining both points of view before reaching any conclusion. One argument put forward by those who advocate that older
people
 need to be bosses in a business is that they have much more experience compared to younger ones. To be more precise, many
people
 believe that it is preferable for someone
firstly
 to work in a company and gain experience before
start having
Wrong verb form
starting to have
show examples
 a more responsible position,
such
 as a manager position. In
this
 way, they think that there are more possibilities for a company to run smoothly and for severe mistakes to be avoided.
However
, in my opinion, young
people
 should have equal job opportunities with older ones. There are many cases in which many innovative
ideas
 have come from the young generation. A clear illustration of
this
 could be said to be recent research which has shown that the highest percentage of successful innovative
ideas
, comes from young
people
.
Also
, young adults could provide numerous benefits to a business.
For example
, many of them do not have work experience, so, they have plenty of
ideas
, and
as a result
, a company gains profits through it. In conclusion, it is my firm belief that
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 shouldn't
there is
Wrong verb form
be
show examples
this
 separation and everyone should have equal job opportunities. Never before have we seen so many young
people
 have
such
 successful business
ideas
 and it would be wrong for companies to reject them.
Submitted by eirininikou109 on

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task response
Expand more on the reasons why young people might be suitable for leadership roles.
coherence and cohesion
Use more transition words and phrases to improve the coherence and cohesion of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • strategic decision-making
  • crisis management
  • innovative ideas
  • adaptable
  • tech-savvy
  • digital transformation
  • complex situations
  • high-pressure decisions
  • empathy
  • patience
  • strategic foresight
  • authoritative
  • collaborative work culture
  • dynamic
  • inclusive organizational culture
  • ageism
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