For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Several people find that the main reason for working too much is
making
money. I disagree fundamentally over Wrong verb form
to make
this
point of view. I will also
explain my reasons for this
issue as this
essay continues.
Many individuals do not work
just for money. They have more important reasons. They work
, because not only do they like accomplishing that performance but also
, they get positive energy while
implementing that. Hence
, they struggle hard in order to be more satisfied with themselves. In addition
, it seems that a person does a job to feel more beneficent for his society. Accordingly
, he works for long hours to make more profit for the community. For instance
, teaching in government schools is not a well-paid job in Iran. However
, a great number of folks are teachers and even, because of the teaching force lack
they overwork for free.
Verb problem
apply
Furthermore
, sometimes some employees work
absolutely hard to forget the personal hardships that have occurred in their life
. They prefer being in their workplace and working until ungodly hours. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
As a result
, they concentrate on their projects and escape from thinking about their miseries. For example
, my aunt missed his son in an accident many years ago. Consequently
, she used to work
a lot and sometimes bring
her backlogs to her house to Wrong verb form
brought
work
on them even until
the small hours.
In conclusion, some believe that implementing a career is because of providing financial resources. Change preposition
during
However
, I think differently. Some workforces, do much task
, Change the quantifier
many tasks
firstly
to receive a good deal of pleasant feeling and be gratified of themselves. Secondly
, in order to not be obsessive about the challenges in their personal life.Submitted by s.qanbarzadeh2020 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured and follows a clear progression, but there is room for improvement in connecting the ideas more cohesively and ensuring a more comprehensive response to the task question.
task response
The essay provides a response to the task question but needs to offer a more comprehensive and well-developed argument. It should include a balanced consideration of both points of view and provide a more detailed analysis.