For many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
Several people find that the main reason for working too much is
making
money. I disagree fundamentally over Wrong verb form
to make
this
point of view. I will Linking Words
also
explain my reasons for Linking Words
this
issue as Linking Words
this
essay continues.
Many individuals do not Linking Words
work
just for money. They have more important reasons. They Use synonyms
work
, because not only do they like accomplishing that performance but Use synonyms
also
, they get positive energy Linking Words
while
implementing that. Linking Words
Hence
, they struggle hard in order to be more satisfied with themselves. Linking Words
In addition
, it seems that a person does a job to feel more beneficent for his society. Linking Words
Accordingly
, he works for long hours to make more profit for the community. Linking Words
For instance
, teaching in government schools is not a well-paid job in Iran. Linking Words
However
, a great number of folks are teachers and even, because of the teaching force Linking Words
lack
they overwork for free.
Verb problem
apply
Furthermore
, sometimes some employees Linking Words
work
absolutely hard to forget the personal hardships that have occurred in their Use synonyms
life
. They prefer being in their workplace and working until ungodly hours. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
As a result
, they concentrate on their projects and escape from thinking about their miseries. Linking Words
For example
, my aunt missed his son in an accident many years ago. Linking Words
Consequently
, she used to Linking Words
work
a lot and sometimes Use synonyms
bring
her backlogs to her house to Wrong verb form
brought
work
on them even Use synonyms
until
the small hours.
In conclusion, some believe that implementing a career is because of providing financial resources. Change preposition
during
However
, I think differently. Some workforces, do Linking Words
much task
, Change the quantifier
many tasks
firstly
to receive a good deal of pleasant feeling and be gratified of themselves. Linking Words
Secondly
, in order to not be obsessive about the challenges in their personal life.Linking Words
Submitted by s.qanbarzadeh2020 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured and follows a clear progression, but there is room for improvement in connecting the ideas more cohesively and ensuring a more comprehensive response to the task question.
task response
The essay provides a response to the task question but needs to offer a more comprehensive and well-developed argument. It should include a balanced consideration of both points of view and provide a more detailed analysis.