The leaders of most organizations tend to be older people. However, some argue that younger people make better bosses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There are numerous companies whose higher positions are usually held by senior people,
while
others believe that young individuals would be better to lead the organization.
This
essay completely agrees with the former because youngsters not only create new ideas but
also
embrace development and receive an evaluation.
To begin
with, young people tend to have new ideas that could bring great products to society. The younger boss often knows how to improve old products to new versions and stand out from others.
For example
, Tesla run by Elon
musk
Capitalize word
Musk
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,
is
Wrong verb form
was
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started by him at an early age, and in that period the idea of electronic vehicles was pretty new, today his company's product is the best electronic cars.
Therefore
, the age of a leader does not really matter, the important thing is talent and the willingness to do.
Additionally
, youngsters have impressive abilities
such
as embracing development and an open mind to agree with differences. The younger leaders tend to be brave to make difficult decisions
such
as decisions to transform the old culture of the organization.
Moreover
, they may be open to assessment, possibly because their lack of experience causes them to be more optimistic about the shift and seek ways to implement the evaluation.
For instance
,
according to
a recent study, the young manager groups tend to use beneficial opinions to improve their work more than old manager groups. In conclusion, leading the firm by a younger leader is more beneficial for work because the youngster has advanced and fresh ideas, is willing to innovate
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and is open to comment.
Submitted by pear_chanok on

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task response
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic and outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. Moreover, your conclusion should restate your opinion and summarize the key points you have made in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay shows a clear structure with cohesive paragraphs that present clear arguments in support of your position. However, you could improve the logical flow between the paragraphs to enhance overall coherence.
lexical resource
You have used a good range of vocabulary to express your ideas. However, there are some instances where you can refine your word choice to convey your meaning more precisely.
grammatical range
Your essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with varied sentence structures and accurate use of language. However, watch out for subject-verb agreement errors and ensure consistent use of tenses throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • strategic decision-making
  • crisis management
  • innovative ideas
  • adaptable
  • tech-savvy
  • digital transformation
  • complex situations
  • high-pressure decisions
  • empathy
  • patience
  • strategic foresight
  • authoritative
  • collaborative work culture
  • dynamic
  • inclusive organizational culture
  • ageism
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