The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The  diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The illustration explains how to process
sugar
from
sugar
cane.
Overall
, it is can be seen that the product contains 7 stages beginning with planting
sugar
canes
and ending with a finished product being dried and cooled.
To begin
,
sugar
canes
are grown by using water, sunlight, fertilisers, and sufficient supplements for those
sugar
canes
, so it takes time over 12-18 months. After that, it is harvested by a farmer and a tractor
then
it is transferred to a crushing machine which is able to transform these
sugar
canes
into
sugar
cane
juice
but
this
stage is not enough to control several microbial which is not adequate hygiene.
Therefore
, it is lead to purified
juice
processing which has a limestone filler for making more purified
juice
. In the fifth stage, purified
juice
is delivered to the step of evaporation, it is transformed into syrup using fire from gas.
Next,
the syrup is brought to the centrifuge's step, it has to separate
sugar
crystals.
Finally
,
this
clear
sugar
is dried and cooled in a large tank which is ready for packing and launching into a supermarket.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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