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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In many countries people have to go away from their family and friends to find work. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #friends #work #outweigh
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It is considered by some, in many countries
people
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 basically adults need to
work
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 in another
country
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 far from their
families
Use synonyms
 and friends. The merits of
this
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 situation could far outweigh the demerits.
To begin
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 with the demerits, I think that
people
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 do not have to think about the drawbacks of moving to another
country
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 and finding money in
order
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 to feed their
families
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. It is fact that the majority of
people
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 face kinds of challenges when they live in another
country
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 far from their
families
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such
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 as missing their parents and children.
This
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 is the main difficulty which every migrant suffers. The next disadvantage is misunderstanding the exact language. I agree with the idea that
people
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 move to another
country
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 in
order
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 to their wealth and help their
families
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. In recent years, the majority of
people
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 could improve their financial side when they
work
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 in another
country
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.
As a result
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 of
this
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, they could feed their
families
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 without facing any difficulties. There are three main merits if they
work
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 far from their
families
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.
Firstly
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, they could be independent earlier than on time.
Secondly
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, they absolutely focus on future achievements with great motivation. The third is changes of mindset. First of all, I could take early independence as a major example. After
people
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 go to other countries in
order
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 to
work
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, they become independent too early over the period.
As a result
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 of
this
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, every migrant who became independent doesn’t need any help from others.
In other words
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, they could 100% focus on their aims in
order
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 to get them. It contains, becoming a successful person and definitely feeding their
families
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. These kinds of
people
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 do not have any interest to do shopping, buying new things and spending their half-life in street clubs. They only think and care about the next days and the future life.
Although
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 it has some negative sides, they are negligible when compared to the positive ones, I believe
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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