An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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A growing number of medical Practitioners and educators are leaving their own poor countries and migrating to work for the wealthiest nations.
This
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trend is directly affecting poor people who can not afford their medical expenses and
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also for
Rephrase
apply
show examples
parents will face extremely difficult situations as government schools are closing down
due to
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shortages of educators.In
this
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essay, I will discuss the reason behind
this
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situation and how we can overcome to resolve
this
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issue. To start with,Professionals migration is very badly affecting countries' health care system and education sector, the main reason that they looking for jobs abroad is the lack of opportunities and very poor wages for these professionals,
Moreover
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very long working hours
due to
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the shortage of the employees will create more stress among these workers.
for example
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the survey conducted by privet agency shows that teachers wages are lower than the stock keeper salary in some of the poor countries. even though,Doctors are
well
Rephrase
better
show examples
paid
off
Change preposition
apply
show examples
than teachers the taxes which
imposes
Wrong verb form
are imposed
show examples
for higher salaries are really concerning.
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in
Capitalize word
In
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addition to poor management and lack of facilities are major reasons behind
this
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concern. To deal with these challenges governments should introduce flexible working hours with a wide variety of benefits to these valuable services.
in addition
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to government should reconsider imposing taxes and other charges and
also
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the quality of the treatment centre should
increases
Wrong verb form
increase
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with good facilities and places should
manage
Wrong verb form
be managed
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with educated managers.the large number of holidays for teachers is unacceptable but
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instead
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apply
show examples
holidays governments can use for privet education programs and need to provide them with additional benefits. In conclusion, if the majority of well-educated people move to another country will be very challenging for poor people and the only solution for
this
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is to provide good wages and more opportunities for professional workers.
Submitted by ixionks on

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Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt and provides relevant examples, but the response could be more comprehensive.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure is relatively clear, but the introduction and conclusion could be more developed.
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A wider range of vocabulary and more precise use of terminology could improve the lexical resource.
Grammatical Range
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of structures but lacks accuracy in some complex sentences.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Skilled professionals
  • Healthcare systems
  • Education systems
  • Economic growth
  • Dependency on foreign aid
  • Social inequality
  • Quality healthcare
  • Quality education
  • Retain talent
  • International cooperation
  • Sustainable growth
  • Scholarships
  • Professional development
  • Remote work capabilities
  • Local research funding
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