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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below describes some changes about the percentage of people were born in Australia and who were born outside Australia living in urban, rural and town between 1995 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #changes #percentage #people #australia #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart gives
an information
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information
a piece of information
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 about the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who lives in three different sectors in the
country
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 of Australia. The dwellers are those who were born in the
country
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 and some of them are non-Australian
native
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natives
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. The figures compare data collected between 1995 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
groups
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 still chose to live in urban
areas
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.
Although
Linking Words
, there was
significant
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a significant
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 drop
of
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in
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percentages
Correct article usage
the percentages
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 of
people
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 who opt to live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural
areas
Use synonyms
 and small towns during the period of the study. In 1995,
people
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 born in Australia and outside the
country
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 preferred to reside in the
the
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apply
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city with a percentage of roughly 50-60%. Followed closely by living in the rural
areas
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 at nearly 30-40% in both
groups
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. A different pattern is noted for living in the town as
choice
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the choice
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 of the
groups
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 to live in at approximately a fifth of the total
percent
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per cent
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. In the year 2010, both
groups
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 of
people
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 were still clued up on residing in the urban
areas
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 having not more than 80%. Natural born in Australia chose to live
towns
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in towns
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 and countryside sharing the same figure of about 15%.
People
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 born outside the
country
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 opt less to live in
rural
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a rural
the rural
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 and had
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a signifacant
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signifacant
Correct your spelling
significant
 decrease in percentage by more than twofold as compared in 1995. Those who preferred to reside in the towns have
a
Change the article
an
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 estimated proportion of 10%.
Submitted by kmaegalilee on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, country, groups, areas with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Demographic
  • Trends
  • Urban areas
  • Rural areas
  • Town
  • Native-born
  • Foreign-born
  • Migration patterns
  • Economic factors
  • Government policies
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Steady
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Time frame
  • Significant changes
  • Distribution
  • Notable
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