IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people said that with the help of parenting and child development courses parents can improve the life of children. To what extent do you agree?

Nowadays, it is sometimes thought that
parents
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 improve their child's future by attending the list of
development
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courses
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. In my opinion, I agree that parenting and child
development
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courses
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 will help
parents
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 to enhance their
children
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's
life
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.
Firstly
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, I would like to explain why the parenting
development
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 course will make
children
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's
life
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 better. These
courses
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 ought to learn how to improve
children
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's behaviour towards their loved ones and other people.
For example
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, in one of the
courses
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parents
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 learn how to convert their naughty
children
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 to calm
children
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 so that they can behave properly to others.
Additionally
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, some training
courses
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 are
also
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 helping
to
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apply
show examples
parents
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 how to build trust
to
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in
show examples
 their
children
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. It means
,
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apply
show examples
 they learn how to enhance your well-being as
parents
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 so that you will get
well-being
Correct article usage
the well-being
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 of your
children
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.
Moreover
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, These
courses
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 should help to improve
self-awareness
Add an article
the self-awareness
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 of individuals towards different aspects of
life
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.
Secondly
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,
additionally
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, child
development
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courses
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also
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 help them to improve their
children
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's future.
These
Correct determiner usage
This
show examples
 training will help their
children
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 to improve their skills towards the different areas of
life
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.
For instance
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, Meditation is useful to
children
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 to increase
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 focus in their
life
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.
As a result
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,
children
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 can work with concentration.
Another
Correct quantifier usage
Other
show examples
 communication
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courses
Fix the agreement mistake
course
show examples
 will help
children
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 to gain knowledge of different languages.
Therefore
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, they might have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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 to work with diverse people
in
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around
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world
Add an article
the world
show examples
.
Children
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 should
encouraged
Change the verb form
be encouraged
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 to take participate in events like painting and cooking to improve their non-technical skills. In conclusion, in
this
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 fast-paced world, online or offline
development
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courses
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available
Add a missing verb
are available
show examples
 for improving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
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's
life
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. Individuals thought that these will
definetly
Correct your spelling
definitely
 boost confidence and gain skills
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
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. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it is
correct
Add an article
the correct
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 path to make
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
children
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 more
educative
Replace the word
educated
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 and mature.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • nurturing environment
  • holistic development
  • child psychology
  • parental confidence
  • mental health
  • child-rearing practices
  • inclusivity
  • adaptability
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • socioeconomic groups
  • unique needs
  • personality & circumstances
What to do next:
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