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Band 6

Some people said that with the help of parenting and child development courses parents can improve the life of children. To what extent do you agree?

#people #help #child #development #courses #parents #life #children
Nowadays, it is sometimes thought that
parents
 improve their child's future by attending the list of
development
courses
. In my opinion, I agree that parenting and child
development
courses
 will help
parents
 to enhance their
children
's
life
.
Firstly
, I would like to explain why the parenting
development
 course will make
children
's
life
 better. These
courses
 ought to learn how to improve
children
's behaviour towards their loved ones and other people.
For example
, in one of the
courses
parents
 learn how to convert their naughty
children
 to calm
children
 so that they can behave properly to others.
Additionally
, some training
courses
 are
also
 helping
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
 how to build trust
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
children
. It means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they learn how to enhance your well-being as
parents
 so that you will get
well-being
Correct article usage
the well-being
show examples
 of your
children
.
Moreover
, These
courses
 should help to improve
self-awareness
Add an article
the self-awareness
show examples
 of individuals towards different aspects of
life
.
Secondly
,
additionally
, child
development
courses
also
 help them to improve their
children
's future.
These
Correct determiner usage
This
show examples
 training will help their
children
 to improve their skills towards the different areas of
life
.
For instance
, Meditation is useful to
children
 to increase
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 focus in their
life
.
As a result
,
children
 can work with concentration.
Another
Correct quantifier usage
Other
show examples
 communication
courses
Fix the agreement mistake
course
show examples
 will help
children
 to gain knowledge of different languages.
Therefore
, they might have
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to work with diverse people
in
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around
show examples
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
.
Children
 should
encouraged
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be encouraged
show examples
 to take participate in events like painting and cooking to improve their non-technical skills. In conclusion, in
this
 fast-paced world, online or offline
development
courses
available
Add a missing verb
are available
show examples
 for improving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
's
life
. Individuals thought that these will
definetly
Correct your spelling
definitely
 boost confidence and gain skills
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
. I think
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is
correct
Add an article
the correct
show examples
 path to make
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
children
 more
educative
Replace the word
educated
show examples
 and mature.
Submitted by writing7 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nurturing environment
  • holistic development
  • child psychology
  • parental confidence
  • mental health
  • child-rearing practices
  • inclusivity
  • adaptability
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • socioeconomic groups
  • unique needs
  • personality & circumstances
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