The graph shows the percentages of people going to cinemas in a European country on different days

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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of the community coming to cinemas in a European country on all

days

Use synonyms

of the week.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is apparent that the majority of people opted for going to the

cinema

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these

days

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at weekends.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the figures for Wednesday the watching at

cinema

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witnessed a downward trend,

as well as

Linking Words

the percentage of other

days

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as well as

Linking Words

the percentage of other

days

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recorded no significant changes over the

years

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. First of all, it can be seen that the figures for people coming to the cinemas on Saturday were the highest rate

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apply

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when its proportion peaked at more than 40% over the

years

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In addition

Linking Words

, a steep decline of approximately 10% was recorded in the number of audiences at the

cinema

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on Sunday in three different

years

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while

Linking Words

the figure for Friday remained stable at 30% following 4

years

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Subsequently

Linking Words

, the proportion of spectators watching at the

cinema

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on Wednesday was gradually falling over the

years

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, when it was under 10% in the final year. Meanwhile, there was considerable fluctuation in the figure of people going to the

cinema

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for the rest of the

days

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huuhung1962001Mon Apr 03 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "as well as".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words days, cinema, years with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

192 words

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The graph shows the percentages of people going to cinemas in a European country on different days

Scientific research should be carried out and controlled by the governments rather than private companies. Do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, too much money is spent by governments and individuals for national days such as New Year and religious festivals. To what extent you agree or disagree?

Long distance flight consumes the amount of fuel that a car uses for many years and pollutes the air. Some people think that we should discourage non-essential flights, such as tourists travel, rather than limit the use of cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?