IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to learn about current events. However, other believe that they can learn news better through other media. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #newspapers #events #news #media
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There are various methods for the acquisition of the latest
events
 nowadays,
while
 some
people
 tend to stick to the traditional way of reading
newspapers
, others prefer watching television programs or reading articles on the internet. 
To begin
 with,
newspapers
 were the only source of
information
 before modern media
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 introduced to the public. For the majority of elderly
people
, reading
newspapers
 in the morning is a crucial daily routine to be aware of current essential
events
, not only because they are accustomed to it, but the articles in
newspapers
 are written by professional journalists and
be
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 clarified before being released, which makes them trustworthy. Many cafes in Taiwan continue providing
newspapers
 for customers who have breakfast in the store to satisfy their habits. 
On the other hand
, a growing number of
people
 nowadays, prefer seeking other sources of news, including television programs and articles on the internet. The former combines both visual and sound
information
 which makes the progress of gaining
information
 equivalent to entertainment activities, the latter provides more detail and opinions from specialists, which could help
people
 gain different perspectives regarding certain
events
.
For example
, many television news programs like to illustrate the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
latest
events
 with short videos to provoke interest from young individuals.
On the other hand
, adults are able to find more
detail
Fix the agreement mistake
details
show examples
 on the internet provided by professional
people
, compared to traditional
newspapers
, which tend to focus on reporting the facts without
no
Correct determiner usage
any
show examples
 personal thoughts.
To conclude
, in my perspective, despite that the population who access
information
 on new media will continue to grow,
due to
 the resilience it provides for
people
 to convey different views,
however
, the value of
newspapers
 should not be overlooked, considering readers are able to gain
information
 based on facts without worry to be misled with prejudice opinions.
Submitted by unapoya0916 on

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Task Response
Ensure that your supporting points are directly related to the topic and expand on them to fully address all aspects of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more coherently to create a stronger flow of information throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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