Some people feel that entertainment (eg film stars, pop musicians and story stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of Jobs should be highly paid.

People
who work in a profession destinated to entertain other public often have comfortable lives, with a lot of advantages, and high earnings. It is certainly because film stars,
football
Correct word choice
and football
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players among others, generate tremendous revenues for cinema industries or for football clubs.
Conversely
, some professions which appear more important or crucial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society don't have necessarily the recognition they should have. I agree with the fact that some salaries of public personalities seem unreal and entirely out of
this
world. Football players
for instance
have enormous revenues that for a lot of
people
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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a misunderstanding.
However
, behind these astronomic salaries, there is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
entire economic system. Indeed, the more famous will be the player more it will generate more money.
Firstly
, for the
club
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,club
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he plays with
selling
Add an article
the selling
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of shirts, by filling stadiums and by increasing the reputation of the club.
Secondly
, for brands with which the player will be under contract. By generating all
this
money for leagues, brands, clubs and so on, soccer players can expect to touch important revenues. The same system is found in all other entertainment as well. In a more common world, a lot of jobs are not recognized by their real values or importance. Some professions
such
as firemen, nurses or doctors sometimes don't touch fair wages compared to the risks they can take or
responsibilities
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the responsibilities
show examples
they can have. Indeed,
people
doing these types of jobs could be compared to heroes of the modern world. It is right that most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
respect them,
Correct word choice
but
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however
Add a comma
,however
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they still don't have fair pay
according to
their importance in our society
To conclude
I would say that public personalities' wages are the result of the industries behind them that generate huge incomes
whereas
more common
works
Replace the word
workers
show examples
, less mediatized but essential for society should be highly paid regarding their responsibilities.
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • disproportionately lucrative
  • market dynamics
  • societal value
  • career span
  • risk factor
  • celebrity culture
  • social media influence
  • compensation equity
  • revenue streams
  • advertising revenue
  • global audience
  • economic disparity
  • fair remuneration
  • public service roles
  • social contribution
  • livelihood sustainability
  • public sector salaries
  • financial recognition
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