the pie charts show The percentage of the working day adults spend doing difference activities in a country in 1958 and 2008.

#show #percentage #adults #difference #activities #country

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the pie charts illustrate the proportion of working day adults spent on different tasks in a particular country in the years 1958 and 2008.

overall

Linking Words

, sleeping accounted for the biggest percentage of the total daily working of adults in 1958,

while

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the figure for working head the list in 2008.

in contrast

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, the number of days spent on travelling and others category in both surveyed years was the lowest.

to begin

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with, in 1958, relaxing at home made up 8% of the average adult's working cycle in comparison with 13% in 2008.

additionally

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,the 1958 people spent 2% of their 24 hours travelling to work, which was 3 times lower than that in the next 50 years. the number of days working in

this

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country recorded a significant increase, from 33% to 42%.

by contrast

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, the daily percentage spent on ''others'' figure was the same in both periods, reaching 6%,

whereas

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the category of going out recorded a dramatic drop during the given period, decreasing by 13% to 6%.

moreover

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, the 1958 and 2008 adults spending their working days sleeping reached 32% and 25%, respectively.

Submitted by bobong120906 on Mon Apr 03 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

184 words

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the pie charts show The percentage of the working day adults spend doing difference activities in a country in 1958 and 2008.

In some places old age is valued, while in other culture youth is considered more importance. Discuss both views and give you opinion.

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying medicines and treatments by themselves instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Attending a live performance (for example, a play, a concert, or sporting event) is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree?