For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However , nowadays people's values have changed , and we tend to consider science , technology and business more than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people's attention to art?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
For ages,
art
Use synonyms
has played an integral role in cultures around the world.
However
Linking Words
, in the modern world , it no longer has
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
popularity because
people
Use synonyms
are paying more attention to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other subjects
such
Linking Words
as business , technology and science.
This
Linking Words
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
have a desire for earning
much
Correct quantifier usage
a lot of
show examples
money. From my point of view, artists or
people
Use synonyms
who
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
with
art
Use synonyms
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not have
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
to earn a lot. Fundamentally , there are myriad reasons behind
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
of interest in
art
Use synonyms
by humans.
Firstly
Linking Words
, automation and science is the major cause . Nowadays , almost every individual uses technology
such
Linking Words
as smartphones and computers . That's why they have no interest in
art
Use synonyms
or
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
have time for
art
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, business studies attract many
people
Use synonyms
to become richer. It seems to me ,
art
Use synonyms
studies are not valuable ,
therefore
Linking Words
, they have totally
neglect
Replace the word
neglected
show examples
arts
Fix the agreement mistake
art
show examples
from their life.
Lastly
Linking Words
, historical knowledge
knowledge
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
makes individuals feel that arts
Add a missing verb
do
show examples
have not any importance in their culture and tradition.
However
Linking Words
, there are some measures to increase
people
Use synonyms
's interest in
art
Use synonyms
. The government must show
people
Use synonyms
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
importance in history and at present. If
this
Linking Words
solution is performed,
people
Use synonyms
's curiosity will rise.
Moreover
Linking Words
, adults must show
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
of
art
Use synonyms
to
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
generation. In conclusion, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of reasons why
people
Use synonyms
today
usually
Add a missing verb
are usually
show examples
indifferent to
art
Use synonyms
and some measures can solve
this
Linking Words
problem.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: