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Band 6.5

The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #governments #space #programmes #services #schools #hospitals
Over the past decade, a part of
Correct article usage
the governments
show examples
governments
Change noun form
government's
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 budget has been focused on space programmes;
however
, some people think that it would be better to use
this
 money on public services.
This
 essay totally agrees with
this
 statement, I believe that government should focus on improving citizens' lives. One of the main issues that countries should pay attention to
instead
 of rockets, is our poor healthcare system, it is filled with flaws and only a few individuals benefit from it;
therefore
,
governments
 must improve it by adding extra money to those institutions so everyone would be satisfied with them.
Moreover
, major cities throughout the world suffer from traffic congestion, and one of the main reasons is the quality of public transport that needs an upgrade as soon as possible, local councils should spare a part of their budget for building new bus lanes
as well as
 railway,
thus
 people would start using them again. Another vital service is our education system, recent innovations in science gave us a variety of new types of equipment that make learning easier for students,
for example
, laptops, every learner should study with one and unfortunately, our schools suffer from a lack of those kinds of tools.
Furthermore
, there are a lot of diseases that scientists still have not found a cure for them;
therefore
,
governments
 should spend extra cash on medical research and on building new laboratories all over the country, because, in my opinion, saving people's lives is more important than sending humans to outer space.
To conclude
, as I have discussed, there are various reasons why
governments
 should spend money on improving our public services, rather than spending it on the discovery of new planets.
Submitted by saberyouc on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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