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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the consumption of wheat, rice, maize in 4 different countries.

The table below shows the consumption of wheat, rice, maize in 4 different countries.
The chart describes the intake of several types of food in 4 different nations.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that rice is consumed by people in
Mexico
Use synonyms
 every day,
while
Linking Words
 people in
Egypt
Use synonyms
 and Poland opt to consume wheat. It is possible to infer from the figures that
Mexico
Use synonyms
’s citizens prefer to choose
calories
Use synonyms
 in
maize
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, 1450
calories
Use synonyms
 in rice are utilized by residents in Cambodia, which is more than in
Egypt
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 are 950
calories
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. Meanwhile , the consumption of rice in Poland and
Mexico
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 is 19
calories
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 and -57
calories
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 , respectively.
However
Linking Words
 ,
calories
Use synonyms
 in wheat are consumed in the daily meals of Poland and
Egypt
Use synonyms
 with the statistic being 1090
calories
Use synonyms
 and 860
calories
Use synonyms
. It is followed by
Mexico
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 and Cambodia.
While
Linking Words
 the former makes up 275
calories
Use synonyms
, the latter is only 257
calories
Use synonyms
 less.
In addition
Linking Words
, the amount of
calories
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 in
maize
Use synonyms
 popular in most of the 4 countries is
Mexico
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 with a figure of 1085
calories
Use synonyms
 .
In contrast
Linking Words
, citizens in
Egypt
Use synonyms
 only feed their bodies with 570
calories
Use synonyms
 in
maize
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, which is more than in
Cambodia
Change noun form
Cambodia's
show examples
 470
calories
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 .
Finally
Linking Words
, Polis does not choose
calories
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 in
maize
Use synonyms
 for their meal

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words mexico, egypt, calories, maize with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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