The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

#show #percentage #time #adults #activities #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons

This

pie

charts

Change the determiner

chart

show examples

gives

Change the verb form

give

show examples

information about

proportion

Add an article

the proportion

show examples

of the time working adults spent on different

activties

Correct your spelling

activities

particular

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the particular

show examples

country between

two

Correct article usage

the two

show examples

period

Change to a plural noun

periods

show examples

Overall

, the working intake

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the

show examples

biggest part of

pie

Correct article usage

the pie

show examples

charts and

incearse

Correct your spelling

increased

in the period,

while

sleeping

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

a downward trend.

However

travle

Correct your spelling

travel

to work was the

smallet percenatge

Correct your spelling

small percentage

pie

Correct article usage

the pie

show examples

charts and growth in

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a sligth

show examples

sligth

Correct your spelling

slight

way.

Moreover

, working grows by 9% in 2008 and

still

Add a missing verb

is still

show examples

in the trend of the

pie

chrat

Correct your spelling

chart

while

travling

Correct your spelling

travelling

to work increased by 6% and was the smallest part

growthed

Correct your spelling

growth

slowly.

In addition

, relaxing at home rise by 5% through the period.

Submitted by taaallwell on Mon Apr 03 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words pie with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

100 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your opinion

The growth of consumerism has led to a ‘throw-away’ culture where people are more concerned with acquiring material possessions than protecting the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

An increasing number of people are now using dating sites to meet their sencond halves . Do you think that this tendency help people to socialize or does more harm tthan good ? Give your opinon

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?