The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts below show the percentage of time working adults spent on different activities in a particular country in 1958 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant
This
pie
charts
Change the determiner
chart
show examples
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
information about
proportion
Add an article
the proportion
show examples
of the time working adults spent on different
activties
Correct your spelling
activities
in
particular
Add an article
the particular
show examples
country between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
show examples
.
Overall
, the working intake
a
Change the article
the
show examples
biggest part of
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
charts and
incearse
Correct your spelling
increased
in the period,
while
sleeping
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a downward trend.
However
,
travle
Correct your spelling
travel
to work was the
smallet percenatge
Correct your spelling
small percentage
in
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
charts and growth in
Change the article
a sligth
show examples
sligth
Correct your spelling
slight
way.
Moreover
, working grows by 9% in 2008 and
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
in the trend of the
pie
chrat
Correct your spelling
chart
,
while
travling
Correct your spelling
travelling
to work increased by 6% and was the smallest part
growthed
Correct your spelling
growth
slowly.
In addition
, relaxing at home rise by 5% through the period.
Submitted by taaallwell on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words pie with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: