some people believe that toruist do not learn anything during their holidays, while others believe that they learn a lot. discuss both sides.

#people #toruist #holidays

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One of the social concerns today relates to a tourist’s holiday.

While

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it is widely believed that

tourists

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are

Verb problem

show examples

not gain lessons through holidays, others believe that they do. In my opinion, they can use their vacation

time

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for their own interests. On the one hand, it is argued that

tourists

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can not learn anything on vacation.

Firstly

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, some people often stay in a resort to enjoy and recover with themselves and their families. It is

also

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possible to say that they decide to spend holiday

time

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to get hideaway from work contemporarily. One good illustration of

this

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is the preferred destination for Vietnamese

tourists

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is Vung Tau, Nha Trang or Phan Thiet with a 5-star standard resort for relaxation.

Secondly

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, some of them tend to do things that are familiar to them so that they can not

enhance

Verb problem

learn

show examples

new things.

For example

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, they find the most check-in places from reviewers on Tiktok or go to their favourite coffee shops

instead

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of exploring the new ones.

On the other hand

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, it is strongly believed by others that a holiday journey can bring various lessons to explorers. People often have

this

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opinion because ,through travel, they can figure out new experiences. A second point is that they know outside working

time

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is a valuable chance to reflect on what they have known. A particularly good example here is going abroad not only to see breathtaking views but

also

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to understand more about the nation’s history, culture, humans and society. In conclusion,

tourists

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can choose each choice for learning or not in their holidays. Personally, I tend to believe that

time

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is still valuable if

tourists

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choose a way to both recover and explore as well.

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Tue Apr 04 2023

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task achievement

While the essay introduces both sides of the argument, there is an imbalance with more focus on the view that tourists do not learn anything. To score higher, ensure equal and fully developed ideas for both sides. Additionally, the introduction is brief and could outline the discussion more clearly. Use the conclusion to effectively summarize both views and clearly state a personal stance.

coherence cohesion

The essay is organized with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint. However, the transitions between points within paragraphs could be smoother and signpost language can be enhanced to guide readers more effectively. Develop paragraphs with clear topic sentences and ensure all sentences within a paragraph consistently support the main idea for stronger cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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some people believe that toruist do not learn anything during their holidays, while others believe that they learn a lot. discuss both sides.

Your opinion

Some people think that too much attention and too many resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both view and give your opinion

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?