Ques: Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality – brings problems as well as benefits Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

#ques #celebrity- #film #star #sports #personality #celebrity

Some

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apply

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people

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the people

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thought being

celebrity

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a celebrity

show examples

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apply

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a famous film star or sports personality

bringing

Wrong verb form

brings

show examples

problems and benefits to others. Here is my perspective thought about being

celebrity

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a celebrity

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and what is my knowledge about them. Nowadays, being famous in our society

are

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one

of the main

source

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sources

show examples

of becoming more active in social media

such

as idolizing them when it comes to what clothes you are wearing, what there are activities to do in

everyday

Correct pronoun usage

your everyday

show examples

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

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and

people

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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adapting

Correct your spelling

adopting

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this

personality.

In addition

people

with

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apply

show examples

facing neurological

problem

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problems

show examples

one

of the most is depression

are

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show examples

getting a good source for them

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apply

show examples

celebrity

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celebrities

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, they are absorbing good hormones or

happy

Correct article usage

the happy

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sides of watching or listening to their

favorite

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favourite

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celebrity

and forgetting the bad thoughts of being alone or thinking of some bad kind of things for themselves, In my opinion, famous

celebrity

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celebrities

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are understandable to idolize

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

if it is getting a good example; but somehow they are

one

of the

reason

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reasons

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why some

people

or especially young age are copying them

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not good effect

for

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show examples

them

such

as because of their popularity, young age think of doing like their actions are okay to our society, how we treat our parents and some of

people

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the people

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, they think it's okay not to study become famous

one

is the answer to have a better future and

most

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apply

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worst effect they suddenly thinking hurting themselves lead to

have

Change the verb form

having

show examples

depression. In conclusion, being

famous

Correct article usage

a famous

show examples

celebrity

it's okay but you need to be aware

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of a

show examples

good example to

people

, think twice as much as they can before doing

such

Correct article usage

a thing

show examples

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

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with moderation and more

benefitted

Replace the word

benefits

show examples

. As I mentioned before idolizing

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apply

show examples

celebrity

Fix the agreement mistake

celebrities

show examples

are risk of having a problem and leads to depression

however

they can give

also

a good side to others.

Submitted by cristelsarondo on Tue Apr 04 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

301 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Ques: Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality – brings problems as well as benefits Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Fully explain your ideas

2.Many parents in Vietnam invest heavily into their child’s education hoping for the best.Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people argue that industrial growth is leading to poverty and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common and we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both points and give your own opinion.

Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?