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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shoes the percentage of households in owned and rented accomodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shoes the percentage of households in owned and rented accomodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph provides information about how many households owned and rented residences in the UK and Wales from 1918 to 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
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 the proportion of the
population
Use synonyms
 who owned a house had an upward trend,
while
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 the percentage of the
population
Use synonyms
 who rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
 experienced a downward trend from 1918 to 2011.
To begin
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, in 1918, the proportion of the
population
Use synonyms
 who owned a house stood at around just over 20%.
Then
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, it was a slight increase
just
Change preposition
of just
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 over 30% and remained constant from 1939 to 1953. After that, there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
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dramatic growth until 2011,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
 decrease gradually
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.
In contrast
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, the percentage of the
population
Use synonyms
 who rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
 witnessed a substantial decline between 1918 and 2011.
After
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this
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, there was a slight increase after a decade. As the given bar graph shows, the rate of the
population
Use synonyms
 who rented
accommodation
Use synonyms
 was the highest in 1918 at around 78%,
whereas
Linking Words
 , the rate of the
population
Use synonyms
 who owned
accommodation
Use synonyms
 was the highest in 2011 at about 69% which was a different rate just only 9% but the figure depicted that people required to be an owner of a house much more than renting in the past.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, accommodation with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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