IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people have to find work abroad .they have to leave theirs homes as well as friends. Do the advantages outweight the disadvantage.

#people #work #homes #friends #outweight
Some individuals have to go for aboard for work
then
 they have
left
Change the verb form
to leave
show examples
 their house parents and friends. There is plenty of merits and demerits of leaving
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a Job. In
this
 essay let us discuss the both merits and demerits.
To begin
 with the primary benefits of working in developed
countries
 or cities. When an individual
work
Fix the agreement mistake
works
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
oversees
Correct your spelling
overseas
show examples
 they get high salaries
at the end
 of
month
Add an article
the month
show examples
. By comparing the developing
countries
.
For example
, the monthly salary is 4000 in Australia and 400 in Kenya so
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 10 times higher
this
 is the reason all individuals move to developed
countries
.
Secondly
 another privilege they can get the
change
Correct your spelling
chance
show examples
 to learn
the
Change preposition
about the
show examples
 different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
,
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
,
foods
Correct word choice
and foods
show examples
, and
also
, they can break the communication barrier as well. They socially mingle with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
as
Change preposition
like
show examples
 home
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
 and
countries
Fix the agreement mistake
country
show examples
. In recent times migrants get more benefits they buy
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 house and car,
most
Add an article
the most
show examples
 important thing
they
Add a missing verb
is they
show examples
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
 very
secured
Replace the word
secure
show examples
 they live here as a family.
Conversely
Add a comma
,Conversely
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
language and accommodation might be the biggest barrier they will face it. They can
fell
Correct your spelling
feel
show examples
 alone at all times even if are earning more money. They will lose all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contact in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 native place.
Fix the agreement mistake
Example
show examples
Examples
Change preposition
For examples
show examples
: If they stay long in aboard will
forgets
Wrong verb form
forget
show examples
a
Change the word
their
show examples
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
 and
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 local contacts in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 native place. In my view conclusion there are more benefits
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
overseas. They can lot money by comparing the current
countries
 and
also
, they can achieve what they want in short terms
Submitted by arunramrvs on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: