IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many developing countries, there are major problems with the quality of air and water caused by both industry and construction. What are some of these problems? And what solutions could be provided to prevent this?

#countries #quality #air #water #industry #construction
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The quality of
air
Use synonyms
 and
water
Use synonyms
 has been badly impacted a lot by
industry
Use synonyms
 and construction in many developing countries, which has caused many health problems in the region. The following paragraph will address some of these problems
Firstly
Linking Words
, infrastructures inevitably cause many specks of dust in the
air
Use synonyms
. With cement trucks coming in and out and new buildings built, dirty will fly everywhere.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the emission of
industry
Use synonyms
 plants will affect the
air
Use synonyms
 and
water
Use synonyms
 in a local region. An extreme case was reported in some industrial areas, the polluted
water
Use synonyms
 caused people who live nearby to get strange diseases and the soil was unable to plant any agriculture.
Last
Linking Words
, the unproper handled
industry
Use synonyms
 waste,
such
Linking Words
 as batteries, and harmful chemistry raw material, has caused irreversible danger to the soil and
air
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the EV car battery, if buried underground, will cause that land at least 50 years of no chance to grow plants. There are some solutions that developing countries can address to tackle these problems.
First,
Linking Words
environmental protection regulations should be made to avoid unrestricted emissions from the
industry
Use synonyms
. Any violation shall be punished by monetary compensation or a business license revoked. ,
Linking Words
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 the regulation of diversified
industry
Use synonyms
 waste disposal shall be implemented. And to strengthen the awareness of
industry
Use synonyms
 owners, the government should use media power or other policy to reach the goal. In conclusion, the quality of
air
Use synonyms
 and
water
Use synonyms
 is essential to all the people living in developing countries. Actions must be taken to tackle the issue to improve the quality.
Submitted by amandafaraway on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: