IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The table below shows social and economic indicators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The table below shows social and economic indicators for four countries in 1994, according to United Nations statistics. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
#indicators #four #countries #nations #statistics #summarise #information #features #comparisions
The table provides data from
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Nations
centre
Correct your spelling
Centre
show examples
 of
statistics
Correct your spelling
Statistics
show examples
 on key social and economic
indeces
Correct your spelling
indices
indexes
 for Canada,
Japan
, Peru and Angola in the year 1994.
It is clear that
Japan
 was the leading
country
. Annual income per capita in
this
 East
country
 accounted for 15760 US dollars,
while
this
 index in Canada accounted only for 11100 US dollars.
Also
Add a comma
,Also
show examples
 it is remarkable, that the average length of life in
Japan
 was the highest one (78 years). East people consumed a little bit
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 calories than Canadians (2846 and 3326 daily per person respectively). Probing
further
, the poorest
country
 was Angola, where personal income per year was only 130 US dollars and each person consumed only 1749 calories per day. Remarkable, that the level of literacy depends on the common weal of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Almost every Canadian or Japanese was literate (99 per cent in each
country
),
while
 only about
Correct article usage
a on-third
show examples
on-third
Correct your spelling
one-third
show examples
 of the nation was able to read in Angola.
Overall
, there is a
colleration
Correct your spelling
correlation
 between economic and social indicators.
While
 developed countries like
Japan
 and Canada keep
grow
Wrong verb form
growing
show examples
 and
prosper
Wrong verb form
prospering
show examples
, developing
economics
Correct your spelling
economies
show examples
 have problems in social spheres of life.
Submitted by mgshetler on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words japan, country with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: