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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Demand for gas or oil is increasing and so finding new resources in remote and untouched area is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

#demand #gas #oil #resources #area #necessity #outweigh
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The
posibility
Correct your spelling
possibility
 of finding new sources that can supply the currently raising demand for
gas
 and
oil
 is becoming a priority.
This
 is leading to considering the
explotation
Correct your spelling
exploitation
 of zones that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 never been altered in the past.
To begin
 with, natural resources
such
oil
Change preposition
as oil
show examples
 and
gas
 play a supreme role in the
dinamic
Correct your spelling
dynamic
dynamics
 of the global
economy
.
Oil
 and
gas derived
Add a hyphen
gas-derived
show examples
 products are
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
 to the functioning of industries and transportation which
consequently
 impact
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our daily life.
For example
, the scarcity of
gas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 leads to an increment
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
gas
 prices
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 transportation prices increase which at the same time
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 goods and products
such
food
Change preposition
as food
show examples
 and clothes more expensive.
Thus
, finding new places to obtain the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
 natural resources is vital in order to boost
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 and facilitate everyday life.
On the other hand
, the
explotation
Correct your spelling
exploitation
exploration
 of unexplored and preserved territories not only negatively
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
 the lives of animals and people living in the area or its surroundings but
also
 destroy the ecosystem.
For example
, the
explotations
Correct your spelling
exploitations
exploitation
explorations
 of
occuring
Correct your spelling
occurring
 the Amazonian rainforest have displaced native tribes that have dwelled there for generations and do not know how to
survived
Change the form of the verb
survive
show examples
out
Change preposition
outside
show examples
 of
this
 habitat, as well
putting
Correct word choice
as putting
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 risk and
destroy
Wrong verb form
destroying
show examples
Add an article
the
show examples
natural habitat of endemic animals and plants that were at a high risk of
extintion
Correct your spelling
extinction
.
Hence
, the search
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 new resources to improve the
economy
 and
therefore
 our lives
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 at the same time jeopardising the existence of
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 on our planet.
To sum up
, the advantages of obtaining a
high value
Add a hyphen
high-value
show examples
 natural resource
such
oil
Change preposition
as oil
show examples
 and
gas
 from new habitats in order to improve our
economy
 and
therefore
 our lives, do not
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the disadvantages that it represents
such
 as losing invaluable species that are
impressindble
Correct your spelling
impressionable
 for the conservation of
live
Change the form of the verb
living
show examples
 on the planet.
Submitted by davindergill98 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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