IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays more and more older people complete with younger people for the same jobs. What can be the reason for this? What would you suggest as a solution?

#people #jobs #reason
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It is undeniable that the
competition
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 in the employment market is escalating dramatically. It is often believed that these days Youth is experiencing
a
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apply
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competition
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 with the elderly for
the
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apply
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similar designations.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the potential reason for
this
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 situation and a logical solution.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a scarcity of
the
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apply
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jobs and
a
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apply
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cut-throat
competition
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due to
Linking Words
 high employer requirements
has
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have
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 impacted the job market inversely. It means, that when
the
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apply
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older people with years of
experience
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 are unable to search
their
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for their
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 preferred designation
due to
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 their
age
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 or qualification factor, they often apply for the lower level
of
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apply
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post
Add an article
the post
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.
Consequently
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, they find themselves competing with their young ones for the same designations which certainly creates
an
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apply
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unhealty
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unhealthy
competition
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 in the job market.
For instance
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, often it becomes certainly
challanging
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challenging
 for an old
age
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 employee working as an
Assisstant
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Assistant
 Manager to secure a Managerial designation if the employer
a
Add a missing verb
has a
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mandatory MBA degree requirement which an old
age
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 employee may not have. Despite his rich
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experience
Add a comma
,experience
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 he is neglected and
hence
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,
need
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needs
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 to
complete
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compete
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 with his youngsters at
a
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the
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 same designation in other organisations for a slight hike in
a
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apply
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salary. To deal
Linking Words
this
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with this
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 situation, the employer must reserve some managerial positions for old employees with rich
experience
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 despite their
age
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 as the younger ones with less or no
experience
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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may not be proven as fruitful to the organization.
Submitted by ankit.heart25 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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