Today children and adults from many countries play video games. Some people believe playing video games is harmful. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?

Today, in many countries children and adults have been spending many times in front of the screen playing
video
games
.
Otherwise
, a large group of
people
has supported that spending hours playing
video
games
can be harmful to the healthy brain. I believe that technologies
such
as smartphones, and laptops have stopped humanity's life. Unfortunately,
people
have wasted around 10 hours per day playing
video
games
and forgetting about real life.
According to
the New York Times, technology has forced
people
to stay at home and doesn`t live in the natural environment, and it is developing for both kids and adults with some mental disorders. To support it, doctors around the world are turning on the alert signal for the future of society, only because
people
are stocked on screens. In my mind,
this
is a public health problem and the world authorities must meet together and create a plan to avoid that humanity becoming sick. Still, in developed countries
such
as Japan, The USA and some countries from Europe the background looks more dangerous. The market for
video
games
is increasing quickly and
according to
the Health Care magazine , the USA, Japan and Germany are facing trouble with kids and adults who are losing jobs,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
academic years and getting divorced for spending many hours in front of
games
. Indeed, in my ,opinion it is the beginning and many bad situations can come real. In conclusion,
video
games
should be like many years ago, used in leisure time.
Moreover
, that`s important that education starts at home and parents take care of the children`s schedules.
To conclude
, just like everything,
video
games
could be a good device, since
people
play them as a toy and not as a life extension.
Submitted by murilo.siqueira2012 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: