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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries, namely the USA, Sweden, and Japan.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries, namely the USA, Sweden, and Japan.
#proportion #population #three #countries #usa #sweden #japan
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The given line graph depicts modification in the percentage of children
bornborne
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born borne
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2 different countries over
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 80-year
period
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, starting
fromform
Correct your spelling
from form
 1920.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the
birth
Use synonyms
 rates for both
China
Use synonyms
 and the
USA
Use synonyms
 decreased over the
period
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 surveyed.
Although
Linking Words
thesethis
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these this
 two
figures
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shareshared
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share shared
 the same downward trend,
thebut
Correct your spelling
but
 the
birth
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rate
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
USA
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 in most years is higher than in
Chinain
Correct your spelling
China in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
China
Use synonyms
. At the beginning of the
period
Use synonyms
 in 1920, the
birth
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rate
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
USA
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 was 11%, which was 1% higher than
Use synonyms
China
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in China
show examples
. In the next 15 years, there was a slight rise in the fertility
rate
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 of
China
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, reaching 15%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the year 1947 saw a significant descent to about 5% for both nations, at which point the
figures
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 started growing, hitting a peak at 20% for
China
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 and 15% for the US. Looking at the chart for more detail, after peaking out, the
birth
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rate
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of
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in
show examples
China
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 fell sharply and hit the lowest point by 2000, with around just 2%. With the exception of the
USAof
Correct your spelling
USA of
USA
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, a steady drop was seen in
itsit’s
Correct your spelling
its it’s
figures
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, reaching approximately 7%
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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. It is noticeable that the
figures
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 for America wereAmerica
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 were always higher by about 5% for those in Japan from 1955 to 2000.
Submitted by luudang97 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words period, birth, china, usa, figures, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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