Please evaluate Rafael Salguero Topic: In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
In a number of countries around the world, people advocate taking a gap to work or travel before debuting tertiary studies.
Such
approach
may help Correct article usage
an approach
students
to gain in
maturity and to manage their Change preposition
apply
bill
better, but may Fix the agreement mistake
bills
also
hinder their academic progress.
one year
off to travel or work can be very instructive. By traveling
, Change the spelling
travelling
students
will be exposed to people of various backgrounds living under different conditions. Such
experience will probably teach them to be more conscious about the reality of life and may help them grow as a person. For instance
, spending time with indigenous or other less privileged community
may light up their humanitarian and philanthropic qualities. Fix the agreement mistake
communities
Moreover
, working before pursuing university studies will more likely help students
to be more financially responsible. During their primary and secondary education, students
are generally under
Change preposition
apply
total
dependency Add an article
the total
of
their parents/guardians without knowing much about the difficulty of earning money. A working experience will teach them much about the reality of working money and will likely make them less prone to squandering and consumerism.
Despite the Change preposition
on
above mentioned
benefits of a gap Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
year
, it can be very challenging academically. Some may get distracted from pursuing their studies if they start getting some dollars. Earning money and enjoying financial independence may lead some to not return to school
. Such
Correct article usage
an instance
instance
can be very disadvantageous in the future as big certificates and Fix the agreement mistake
instances
diploma
are essential nowadays to be competitive in the job market. Fix the agreement mistake
diplomas
In addition
, secondary school
and tertiary school
are generally interlinked. Lessons taught at high school
are set to prepare students
with skills necessary for the next level. A student who take
a whole Change the verb form
takes
year
off may forget many of the previously taught concepts and will very likely face a lot of difficulty
to apprehend new modules at the university.
In conclusion, taking a gap Change to a plural noun
difficulties
year
after completing secondary school
can be challenging academically despite the maturity gain and monetary management benefit that students
may get.Submitted by michiadore on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!