In most countries, children wear uniforms to school. Some people argue that this is not a good idea. Discuss and give your own opinion.

#countries #children #uniforms #school #people #idea

There are arguments spreading over

the

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apply

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society that studying

English

is more essential rather than studying the native

languages

. They (The local language) may be in danger of extinction if

people

do not learn about it. In my opinion,

people

need to learn

English

, but at the same time, we need to keep the local

languages

To begin

with, there is a benefit gained by us (dihilangkan saja, pemborosan kata, terus passive sentence itu pronoun-nya sudah jelas, jadi gak perlu pakai "by us" lagi) by learning

English

. The main one is that it will be easier for

people

to get a

high quality

Add a hyphen

high-quality

show examples

job in the future. It is because there are a lot of occupations which need (ganti dengan

sinonim

Correct your spelling

synonym

lainnya)

English

requirements.

For instance

, managerial or supervisory jobs often require job candidates to speak

English

well.

As a result

, the ones who get accepted are mainly

the

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good

English

speakers. It is

also

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general knowledge that when we are accepted in

this

kind of position, the income is definitely far different from the lower position. It is because the higher position jobs we get, the more salary we obtain.

As a result

, our welfare rate increases.

However

, (

However

itu biasanya antar

paragraf

Correct your spelling

paragraph

, kalau mau beda

paragraf

Correct your spelling

paragraph

para graf

pakai

on the other hand

on the contrary

, etc.)

besides

having a great

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

English

, we have to preserve our local

languages

since they are our national identity. There are various possible actions that could be taken in order to tackle

this

issue.

First,

the government should implement the regulations that each school must make native

languages

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apply

show examples

their compulsory course since the

languages

can be easier to master if there is a teacher who teaches us (langsung aja "the students") about it.

In addition

family

Correct article usage

the family

show examples

is the first teacher of each child so every family needs to teach their children to be used to speaking their local

languages

. It is because being good in a language needs a lot of practice, so our home is definitely the suitable place to do that since it is the place lived by our closest ones. By combining those remedies, we can preserve local

languages

. In conclusion,

although

getting

skill

Fix the agreement mistake

skills

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

the

English

language is necessary for

people

, we

also

need to protect our local

languages

by making it a mandatory lesson in schools and teaching it in our own

household

Fix the agreement mistake

households

show examples

Submitted by mziaulhaq25 on Thu Apr 06 2023

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

398 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In most countries, children wear uniforms to school. Some people argue that this is not a good idea. Discuss and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many elderly people no longer looked after by their families but there are put in care home or nursing home. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Some people think that the modern technology is having a negative effect on social relationships. To what extent doyou agree or disagree?

Some people suggest that a country should try to produce all the food for its population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays increasing overweight is a problem, some people think universities should make sport a compulsory module in all degree courses. To what extent do you agree?