IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In recent times, many people have focused on the negative effects advertising has on children’s health, behaviour and family relationships. Advertising to children should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
The pie charts
illustrates
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illustrate
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 the outcome of the
studie
Correct your spelling
study
, which is the main reason
for
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apply
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teenagers
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 used their
phone
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 in one African country from 2016 to 2019.
Body paragraph 1
Overall
Linking Words
,
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the mist
a mist
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mist
Correct your spelling
most
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of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers
Use synonyms
 used their
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 for social networks,
while
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small
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a small
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 percentage of
teenagers
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 used
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Add an article
the phone
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phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 for calls.
Body paragraph 2
In 2016, 50%
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of reenagers
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reenagers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 used their
phone
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 for social networks,
while
Linking Words
teenagers
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 used
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Add an article
the phone
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 for
email
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 was 2 times less than
social
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a social
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network
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networks
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. 15% and 10%
teenagers
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 used their
phone
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 for digital
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camera
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cameras
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 and
phone
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 calls respectively,
while
Linking Words
2017
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in 2017
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Body paragraph 3
3
Correct article usage
A 3
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% increase occurred
on
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in
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phone
Use synonyms
 calls and
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use
Correct article usage
the use
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 of digital
camera
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 remain unchanged. In 2017,1% and 2%
decrease
Fix the agreement mistake
decreases
show examples
 occurred in
email
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 and networks respectively. And
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use
Add an article
the use
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 of
email
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 decreased continuously .
Then
Linking Words
the
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at the
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 end of the period it
become
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becomes
show examples
 19%.
Conclusion
In the
Change preposition
The
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use
Use synonyms
 of
email
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 and
phone
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 calls decreased,
while
Linking Words
 increased the
use
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 of social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 and digital
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camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
show examples
. In 2019,
Use synonyms
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 and digital
Use synonyms
camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
show examples
,
former
Correct article usage
the former
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 was 56%and
latter
Correct article usage
the latter
show examples
 was 20%.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • vulnerability
  • critical thinking
  • childhood obesity
  • materialistic
  • consumerism
  • conflict
  • regulations
  • ethical marketing
  • media literacy
  • unrealistic standards
  • body image
  • parental controls
  • freedom of speech
  • purchasing decisions
  • advertising content
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