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Nowadays, young people admire sports stars though thay often do not set a good example. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #sports #stars #thay #development
In today's world, television and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 has led to change
Change preposition
in chidrens'
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chidrens'
Correct your spelling
children's
perspective
Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
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. Many young individuals
has
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have
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 started to praise
sports
celeberities
Correct your spelling
celebrities
. I believe it has a negative impact on children. There are multiple reasons to support
this
 ideology. To commence with,
sports
 stars portray the image of an enjoyable adult who is earning by means of playing his favourite game. A child who is watching his ideal personality, playing all the time, wants to do the same.
As a result
, his other activities suffer.
For example
, he stops spending sufficient time
in
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on
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 his studies. A child can not comprehend the effort, a
sports
 star
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
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 through to achieve his goals in life. He only knows the outcome.
Furthermore
, admiring someone who opts
his
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for his
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 hobby as a career, is not always good. In developing countries, one needs an educational degree and experience to be successful in his profession, as there are fewer job
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
.
Hence
, it is difficult to turn a leisure activity into a career. Young individuals do not understand the need to be successful; they believe what they see on television. Everyone has their own potential to succeed in a certain career.
For example
, some become doctors, engineers, pilots
e.t.c
Correct your spelling
etc
. Idealising someone restricts their ability to explore their own potential.
Moreover
, it adds
a
Correct article usage
the
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 trait of being irresponsible,
in
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to
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 their personality. Eventually, they start arguing that
sports
 stars make money without studying and working hard. In the
above mentioned
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above-mentioned
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 view, it is not bad to admire someone, but it has some negative impact on a young child's brain and
his
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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personality.
Submitted by Mominamajid521 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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