IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
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Workers in different sectors are expected to meet certain criteria. Some
employees
Use synonyms
 are required to abide by a strict dress code
where
Rephrase
apply
show examples
as
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
 other
companies
Use synonyms
 care about the worker's productivity. It is true that
companies
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 should focus on the employee's work, yet it is very important to look presentable. On one hand, an employee's comfort should be prioritized. Some
people
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 feel
better-accomplishing
Correct your spelling
better about accomplishing
show examples
 tasks in comfortable clothes rather than formal attire. In fact, some
companies
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 allow their
employees
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 to wear sweatpants around the office.
For instance
Linking Words
, Google,
a
Add a missing verb
is a
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pioneering
company
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 that created a friendly environment for its workers. The
company
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 has attracted a lot of
employees
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 all around the world for its flexibility
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 other organizations
are lacking
Wrong verb form
lack
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a person's appearance always reflects on the environment they are in. A
company
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's dress code is an extension of
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
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 identity, and it is always expected of
people
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 working for a specific organization to meet these requirements. When walking into a big cooperate
company
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 you will see all the
employees
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 dressed in formal attire. Indeed, it has been proven that psychologically a person's appearance
affect
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affects
show examples
 how they are perceived by others, especially in a work environment. Some
companies
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 even ask their
employees
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 to cover up any tattoos or piercings, as it will not give a good impression
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
people
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 they will work with. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there is no correlation between a person's attire and productivity, I still believe that maintaining a presentable appearance is very important to gain
people
Use synonyms
's respect.
Submitted by musallamarwa on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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