Parents of obese children shouldbe punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #children #shouldbe

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There is no doubt that obesity is increasingly becoming a major concern in

todays

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

society. There is a belief that guardians of

such

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children should receive punishment for not taking

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

care. In

this

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essay, I will explain why I disagree with

this

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opinion and support my view with examples.

Firstly

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, adolescents are said to be emotional because of their low maturity levels. Because of

this

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, parents have to treat them with extreme care and affection. If they force their opinions on them,

then

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there is a possibility of them becoming stubborn and ill-mannered.

For instance

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, we often see that children get what they want by either crying or refusing to do what their guardians want.

In addition

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, if they continue to scold or disregard their requests on a regular basis,

then

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this

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can

also

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affect their relationship in various ways.

Hence

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, ultimately they have to give in to their children's demands.

Secondly

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, genetics

also

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plays an essential role in the fatness of a child. Some are faced with

this

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disease because it is often considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a hereditary issue.

For example

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, research conducted by BBC revealed that around 40% of families in the US suffer from

hereditary related

Add a hyphen

hereditary-related

show examples

problems including obesity.

Furthermore

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, some medical conditions like thyroid which affects the hormones can

also

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lead to these issues. In conclusion, I believe, there are several reasons behind adolescents gaining weight as it can be because of family inheritance or a few medical conditions and it would be unjust and unfair to punish the parents just because their child is fat.

Submitted by mohanishmasdekar on Fri Apr 07 2023

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Parents of obese children shouldbe punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree?

With the development of technology, children are now living in a world that is different to what it was 50 years ago. What problems does this situation cause for society and family ?

Some people believe that tourists benefit from tourism, while others believe that such countries are negatively affected. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices would help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of self-employment?

Human activities have negative effects on the environment. Some people believe it is too late to take measures to prevent animals and plants from dying out. Others think actions should be taken to improve the situation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.