Parents of obese children shouldbe punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that obesity is increasingly becoming a major concern in

todays

Change to a genitive case

today's

show examples

society. There is a belief that guardians of

such

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children should receive punishment for not taking

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

care. In

this

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essay, I will explain why I disagree with

this

Linking Words

opinion and support my view with examples.

Firstly

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, adolescents are said to be emotional because of their low maturity levels. Because of

this

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, parents have to treat them with extreme care and affection. If they force their opinions on them,

then

Linking Words

there is a possibility of them becoming stubborn and ill-mannered.

For instance

Linking Words

, we often see that children get what they want by either crying or refusing to do what their guardians want.

In addition

Linking Words

, if they continue to scold or disregard their requests on a regular basis,

then

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can

also

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affect their relationship in various ways.

Hence

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, ultimately they have to give in to their children's demands.

Secondly

Linking Words

, genetics

also

Linking Words

plays an essential role in the fatness of a child. Some are faced with

this

Linking Words

disease because it is often considered

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a hereditary issue.

For example

Linking Words

, research conducted by BBC revealed that around 40% of families in the US suffer from

hereditary related

Add a hyphen

hereditary-related

show examples

problems including obesity.

Furthermore

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, some medical conditions like thyroid which affects the hormones can

also

Linking Words

lead to these issues. In conclusion, I believe, there are several reasons behind adolescents gaining weight as it can be because of family inheritance or a few medical conditions and it would be unjust and unfair to punish the parents just because their child is fat.

mohanishmasdekar

Apr 7, 2023

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Parents of obese children shouldbe punished for making them fat. Do you agree or disagree?

Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Write a letter to your manager to nominate a person for best employee of the year award. Who is this person? Why did you choose him? What is the characteristic of a good employee?

Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the citizens. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job but others think they should be realistic and think more about their future? Discuss both of view and give your opinion?