IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The table below shows how patients evaluated differnet services at three health centres.

The table below shows how patients evaluated differnet services at three health centres.
#patients #differnet #services #three #health #centres
The table compares and contrasts patient
ratings
 for five different
services
 in three various
health
 centres .
Overall
 , most patients recommended the
services
 provided by Peveril
health
Correct your spelling
Health
show examples
Centre
 as more satisfying.
Whereas
, the least rating was given
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Kingston
centre
Correct your spelling
Centre
show examples
.
To begin
 with, most people believe the Peveril
centre
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 the best
health
care
centre
 with
a
Change the article
an
show examples
overall
 rating of 8.5 , and the Highest satisfying rating was given for Booking appointments and responses to concerns, and it recorded 9.1 and 9.6
ratings
 respectively.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
other
services
 like doctors'
services
 and
care
 for children reported 8.7 and 7.6 satisfaction ratios ' .
Whereas
, the least rating in the
centre
 was provided to the pharmacy with a 6.3 rating. Meanwhile , the March Bank
centre
 accounted second most satisfying
service
centre
 among the patients and data illustrates that doctors'
service
 was the best
service
 in the institutions , with
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
8.4
ratings
Fix the agreement mistake
rating
show examples
.
While
 , 7.8 and 7.3
rating
Change to a plural noun
ratings
show examples
 were given for Booking appointments and
care
 of children , and 6.5 stars were provided to respond to concerns.
Whereas
 , the lowest rating was for pharmacy , which was 5.8 .
Lingston
Correct your spelling
Kingston
Livingston
Centre
 was the less satisfying
health
centre
 compared to the other three centres , and it accounted
overall
 rating of 5.8 only .
Moreover
 , doctors'
services
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the most popular
service
 in
lingston
Correct your spelling
Kingston
Livingston
Arlington
centre
 , with
Correct article usage
an
show examples
8.0 rating, and a 6.3 satisfaction value was given for the
care
 of children .
However
 , other
services
 like booking appointments , pharmacy and response to concern only constituted below 5
ratings
 respectively.
Submitted by varshajose345 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, whereas, while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words ratings, services, health, centre, care, service with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 3 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: