IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The table below shows how patients evaluated differnet services at three health centres.

The table below shows how patients evaluated differnet services at three health centres.
#patients #differnet #services #three #health #centres
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table compares and contrasts patient
ratings
Use synonyms
 for five different
services
Use synonyms
 in three various
health
Use synonyms
 centres .
Overall
Linking Words
 , most patients recommended the
services
Use synonyms
 provided by Peveril
Use synonyms
health
Correct your spelling
Health
show examples
Centre
Use synonyms
 as more satisfying.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the least rating was given
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Kingston
Use synonyms
centre
Correct your spelling
Centre
show examples
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, most people believe the Peveril
centre
Use synonyms
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 the best
health
Use synonyms
care
Use synonyms
centre
Use synonyms
 with
a
Change the article
an
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 rating of 8.5 , and the Highest satisfying rating was given for Booking appointments and responses to concerns, and it recorded 9.1 and 9.6
ratings
Use synonyms
 respectively.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
other
services
Use synonyms
 like doctors'
services
Use synonyms
 and
care
Use synonyms
 for children reported 8.7 and 7.6 satisfaction ratios ' .
Whereas
Linking Words
, the least rating in the
centre
Use synonyms
 was provided to the pharmacy with a 6.3 rating. Meanwhile , the March Bank
centre
Use synonyms
 accounted second most satisfying
service
Use synonyms
centre
Use synonyms
 among the patients and data illustrates that doctors'
service
Use synonyms
 was the best
service
Use synonyms
 in the institutions , with
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
8.4
Use synonyms
ratings
Fix the agreement mistake
rating
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 , 7.8 and 7.3
rating
Change to a plural noun
ratings
show examples
 were given for Booking appointments and
care
Use synonyms
 of children , and 6.5 stars were provided to respond to concerns.
Whereas
Linking Words
 , the lowest rating was for pharmacy , which was 5.8 .
Lingston
Correct your spelling
Kingston
Livingston
Centre
Use synonyms
 was the less satisfying
health
Use synonyms
centre
Use synonyms
 compared to the other three centres , and it accounted
overall
Linking Words
 rating of 5.8 only .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , doctors'
services
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the most popular
service
Use synonyms
 in
lingston
Correct your spelling
Kingston
Livingston
Arlington
centre
Use synonyms
 , with
Correct article usage
an
show examples
8.0 rating, and a 6.3 satisfaction value was given for the
care
Use synonyms
 of children .
However
Linking Words
 , other
services
Use synonyms
 like booking appointments , pharmacy and response to concern only constituted below 5
ratings
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Submitted by varshajose345 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, whereas, while".
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words ratings, services, health, centre, care, service with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: