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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives information about the underground railway systems in six cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given table illustrates three pieces of information about the six different cities' underground
railway
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 systems; the date opened, the
length
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 of
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Correct article usage
the railways'
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railways'
Change noun form
railway's
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 route, and the number of passengers every year. Taking a closer look at the table, one can see that the underground
railways
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 in London were opened in 1863, which was the first open among given cities. After it, the
railway
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 systems in Paris
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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started to operate in 1900, followed by Tokyo, Washington DC,
Kyoto
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, and
Los
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Angeles
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, those facilities in London had the longest route of 394
km
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, approximately twice longer than the
railways
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 in Paris, 199
km
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. The
railways
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 in Tokyo had the third longest
length
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 of 155
km
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, followed by Washington DC,
Los
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Angeles
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, and
Kyoto
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.
However
Linking Words
, the
railway
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 users had the largest number
of
Change preposition
in
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 1927 in Tokyo. The second largest figure was 1191 in Paris. Even though the
railways
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 in London held the first and had the longest
length
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, only 775 people used that facility.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the
length
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 of
railway
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 systems in
Los
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Angeles
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(28
km
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) almost doubled that in
Kyoto
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(11
km
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), the numbers of passengers were similar between
Kyoto
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 and
Los
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Angeles
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, 45 and 50, respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is true that the
length
Use synonyms
 of the route did not guarantee the number of users.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words railway, length, railways, kyoto, los, angeles, km with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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