The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.

The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Tha
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
bar graph illustrates the information regarding the
employment
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
between men and women in six different countries for the year
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1995 and 2005.The data is calibrated in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
,in 1995
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
had more
employment
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
in Iceland as compared to
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
in 2005
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
has
maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum
show examples
percentage in Switzerland whilst
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
other countries. At a fleeting glance,in 1995 men had
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
employment
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
in Switzerland as compared to women which was 70%.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New Zealand had
minimum
Correct article usage
a minimum
show examples
percentile of women.Both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Autralia
Correct your spelling
Australia
Australian
and New Zealand had similar
employment
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
which
as
Correct your spelling
was
show examples
40%.The USA had slightly more
employment
Use synonyms
rates
Use synonyms
as compared to
Autralia
Correct your spelling
Australia
which was 60%.Interestingly,Iceland had
percentile
Correct article usage
a percentile
show examples
of 50% which was
maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum
show examples
whilst to Australia and New Zealand.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words employment, rates with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • employment rates
  • economic indicators
  • comparison
  • trends
  • improvements
  • declines
  • anomalies
  • fluctuating
  • economic policy
  • financial conditions
  • technological advancements
  • educational levels
  • standards of living
  • poverty rates
  • well-being
  • implications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: