IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the number ofshops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number ofshops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#ofshops #shops #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
Overall
 the graph shows an inverse relationship
bewteen
Correct your spelling
between
 the
number
 of closures and openings
Change preposition
of shop
show examples
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
. The growth rate remains unclear and appears to have no patterns but the
number
 of closures
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
execeed
Correct your spelling
exceed
exceeds
 the
number
 of opening
majority
Add an article
the majority
show examples
 of the time and
at the end
 of the
year
 which is 2018, both closures and openings have a lower
number
 than at the beginning of the
year
 which is 2011. It
also
 showed at 2011
there’s
Wrong verb form
there was
show examples
 a higher
number
 of
opening
Fix the agreement mistake
openings
show examples
 than
closure
Fix the agreement mistake
closures
show examples
 but in 2018
it’s
Wrong verb form
it was
show examples
 the opposite. Another major contrast
bewteen
Correct your spelling
between
 the
number
 of
closure
Fix the agreement mistake
closures
show examples
 and
opening
Correct article usage
the opening
show examples
 of
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 is the
diffrence
Correct your spelling
difference
bewteen
Correct your spelling
between
 where the opening start is high which is 5,500 but for
closure
Add a comma
,closure
show examples
 it’s low which is about 1,100. One notable similarity is that most of the time they both have a gradual increase or
decrease
 on most of the
year
 but in
certain
Add an article
a certain
the certain
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 like
2015
Change preposition
in 2015
show examples
 where one of them is
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
show examples
decrease
, and the other one is a steady
decrease
. Throughout 2011- 2014 and 2016-
2018
Add a comma
,2018
show examples
 there’s been a gradual increase or
decrease
 but during 2014-2016 there’s a steep
decrease
 and increase showing an anomaly which either happen
due to
 irrelevant data possibly by human error or a major world event
such
 as the Corona pandemic
cauisng
Correct your spelling
causing
 numerous shops to close.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, year, decrease with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 3 times.
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