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Writing Samples
Band 8.5

In some countries the percentage of 15 year-olds in the population is already significant and is continuing to grow. Are there more advantages or disadvantages to this trend?

#countries #percentage #year-olds #population #trend
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It was opined the proportion of 15 year-olds in the several countries is growing continuously. I partially agree with
this
 statement.
To begin
 with, the increase in juvenile rate displays signs of birth rates, unsurprisingly reflecting a strong economy in the country. The more wealthy citizens are, the more offspring they will produce.
For example
, when the quality of life in the family is achievable, they will feel safer and more in control in life
thus
 leading to having a baby to ensure the family line.
In addition
, if the number of adolescents keeps rising, it definitely invites advantages to not only families but
also
 the country.
For instance
, youth is always the symbol of a prosperous era and resulting in a bigger workforce to boost the country’s performance.
On the other hand
, without suitable policies from the government, massive unemployment will erupt abruptly.
This
 is because the demand for job positions will hugely outweigh the supply.
For example
, the administration must issue policies to reduce taxes if the firm is willing to employ more individuals.
Furthermore
, the students who receive unsuitable knowledge from the education sector tend to develop undesired circumstances despite fully supporting from the department. Because of the innocent nature of their personality, several juveniles need sometimes to thrive and mature to detect evil intentions.
For instance
, most youngsters in Europe had been tricked to participate in terrorist organizations
such
 as ISIS or Freemasonry.
To conclude
,
although
 the number of children keeps increasing reflecting the prosperity of civilization, the government still need to carefully design countermeasures in case of emergency situation.
Submitted by amittawin on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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