IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefit of this mobility out where the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#information #technology #people #work #workplace #benefit #mobility
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In the modern ,world a
lot
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 of
people
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 have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 possibility to
work
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 remotely.
Although
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 some employers and scientists think that
this
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 type of
work
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 has a
lot
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 of disadvantages, there are more benefits
such
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 as an opportunity to travel without taking a day off or a decrease in the
time
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 for the commute.
Firstly
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, today a
lot
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 of
people
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 visit different places and countries
while
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 they are working.
Moreover
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, some
people
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 move to other cities and even countries, because they have very mobile jobs and all that they need is a laptop.
Additionally
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, some
people
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 think that fixed vacation days are not enough for all their journey plans.
For example
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, in
Russia
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,Russia
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 a significantly high amount of IT workers prefer to spend cold winters in warmer places
such
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 as Spain or Turkey.
Furthermore
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, working outside allows
saving
Change preposition
for saving
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 a
lot
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 of
time
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, which is required for the commute.
However
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, online
work
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 is able to save
this
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time
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 and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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give
people
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 the opportunity to spend
this
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time
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 with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
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. Even though the possibility for new and old hobbies appears.
For instance
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, there are some reports, which
states
Correct subject-verb agreement
state
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 that in Moscow
is
Correct your spelling
it
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 demanded around two hours for a full road to
work
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.
As a result
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, it means
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working parents
a
Add a missing verb
have a
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significant decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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time
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 with children.
In contrast
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, online
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 allow
to look
Change the verb form
looking
show examples
for
Change preposition
after
show examples
 the children during working hours. In conclusion, remote
work
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 has at least two big benefits, which are crucial for some
people
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, because it gives them
possibility
Add an article
the possibility
a possibility
show examples
 to spend life more pleasantly with relatives and on the picturesque beach. In my opinion, the advantages of outside
work
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 outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by galima.ant on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • remote work
  • flexible hours
  • work-life balance
  • cost-efficiency
  • carbon footprint
  • global talent pool
  • cybersecurity
  • data breaches
  • virtual collaboration
  • isolation
  • team cohesion
  • performance monitoring
  • accountability
  • hybrid working model
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