IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefit of this mobility out where the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#information #technology #people #work #workplace #benefit #mobility
In the modern ,world a
lot
 of
people
 have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 possibility to
work
 remotely.
Although
 some employers and scientists think that
this
 type of
work
 has a
lot
 of disadvantages, there are more benefits
such
 as an opportunity to travel without taking a day off or a decrease in the
time
 for the commute.
Firstly
, today a
lot
 of
people
 visit different places and countries
while
 they are working.
Moreover
, some
people
 move to other cities and even countries, because they have very mobile jobs and all that they need is a laptop.
Additionally
, some
people
 think that fixed vacation days are not enough for all their journey plans.
For example
, in
Russia
Add a comma
,Russia
show examples
 a significantly high amount of IT workers prefer to spend cold winters in warmer places
such
 as Spain or Turkey.
Furthermore
, working outside allows
saving
Change preposition
for saving
show examples
 a
lot
 of
time
, which is required for the commute.
However
, online
work
 is able to save
this
time
 and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
give
people
 the opportunity to spend
this
time
 with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. Even though the possibility for new and old hobbies appears.
For instance
, there are some reports, which
states
Correct subject-verb agreement
state
show examples
 that in Moscow
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 demanded around two hours for a full road to
work
.
As a result
, it means
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working parents
a
Add a missing verb
have a
show examples
significant decline
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
 with children.
In contrast
, online
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 allow
to look
Change the verb form
looking
show examples
for
Change preposition
after
show examples
 the children during working hours. In conclusion, remote
work
 has at least two big benefits, which are crucial for some
people
, because it gives them
possibility
Add an article
the possibility
a possibility
show examples
 to spend life more pleasantly with relatives and on the picturesque beach. In my opinion, the advantages of outside
work
 outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by galima.ant on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommuting
  • remote work
  • flexible hours
  • work-life balance
  • cost-efficiency
  • carbon footprint
  • global talent pool
  • cybersecurity
  • data breaches
  • virtual collaboration
  • isolation
  • team cohesion
  • performance monitoring
  • accountability
  • hybrid working model
What to do next:
Look at other essays: