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Band 3

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.

#crime #rate #teenagers #countries
currently, the crime rate among teenagers has increased
due to
 many factors so,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
 to creating some
troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
show examples
 in the country ,especially in
social
Add an article
the social
a social
show examples
 community so, I am going to show the essential factors and give a good suggest solution. At the
first,
the problems between
parents
 and the relationship lead to divorce,
for instance
,
for
instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 there might be a problem between mam and dad and the teenagers grow up around some troubles
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 the youth will be weak
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
 and scared.
secondly
, Acquiring bad traits from
parents
 leads to an effect on many
individual's
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals'
show examples
 moral or values
for example
 when a father drink alcohol or drug that made the teenagers have bad characteristic
Moreover
, children are left by their
parents
,
therefore
 finding their actions terrible
due to
 The lack of education. I think that the great suggest solution makes some
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Awareness programs for raising children and
also
, Awareness programs in schools to learn children how they can deal with their
parents
. In conclusion, the crime rate will be increased if there is no
helping
Replace the word
help
show examples
 from
parents
However
, I believe that a good country comes from a good youth duo to young are a secret for any developing country.
Submitted by eprahemmosa on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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