IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Discuss some possible reasons for this increase and suggest solutions.

#crime #rate #teenagers #countries
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currently, the crime rate among teenagers has increased
due to
 many factors so,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
 to creating some
troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
show examples
 in the country ,especially in
social
Add an article
the social
a social
show examples
 community so, I am going to show the essential factors and give a good suggest solution. At the
first,
the problems between
parents
 and the relationship lead to divorce,
for instance
,
for
instance
Add a comma
,instance
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 there might be a problem between mam and dad and the teenagers grow up around some troubles
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
 the youth will be weak
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
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 and scared.
secondly
, Acquiring bad traits from
parents
 leads to an effect on many
individual's
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals'
show examples
 moral or values
for example
 when a father drink alcohol or drug that made the teenagers have bad characteristic
Moreover
, children are left by their
parents
,
therefore
 finding their actions terrible
due to
 The lack of education. I think that the great suggest solution makes some
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Awareness programs for raising children and
also
, Awareness programs in schools to learn children how they can deal with their
parents
. In conclusion, the crime rate will be increased if there is no
helping
Replace the word
help
show examples
 from
parents
However
, I believe that a good country comes from a good youth duo to young are a secret for any developing country.
Submitted by eprahemmosa on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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