system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is widely acknowledged that
obesity
has been significant
problem all over the world. Having said that, there Add an article
a significant
the significant
is
still no particular restrictions or rules to avoid it. Thereby causing Correct subject-verb agreement
are
broadly
Change the word
broad
obesity
in the world. From my point of view, I agree with the idea of
the best Change preposition
that
ways
to deal with Fix the agreement mistake
way
this
problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. Nowadays, there is a considerable number of parents feeding their adolescent
Despite the fact they know how unsafe and dangerous to feed it on a daily basis, they cannot help it because it is quite convenient. Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
Additionally
, due to
the widely trending
of excessive Replace the word
wide trend
using
Wrong verb form
use
a
mobile Correct your spelling
of
phone
, Fix the agreement mistake
phones
the
Correct article usage
apply
adolescent
tend to stay in
Change preposition
at
their
home Correct pronoun usage
apply
in
the vast majority of the time. In my opinion, it is one of the Change preposition
apply
reason
why Change to a plural noun
reasons
the
Correct article usage
apply
obesity
is spreading widely these days. Having said that, if adolescent
are
able to learn about Change the verb form
is
the
healthy diet, it Correct article usage
a
make
them realize how toxic Change the verb form
makes
the
fast food is. Correct article usage
apply
In addition
, introducing physical education more often could make an adolescent
get used to have
physical activities Change the verb form
having
in
Change preposition
on
their
daily basis. Not only that but Change the word
a
also
they can learn how fun the
physical activity is. Correct article usage
apply
To conclude
, I agree with the idea of
introducing more physical activities and lessons in the school curriculum will be a solution Change preposition
that
of
Change preposition
to
widely
trending Correct article usage
the widely
of
unhealthy diet and Change preposition
apply
obesity
.Submitted by summer.na.9678 on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite