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Writing Samples
Band 3

system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is widely acknowledged that
obesity
Use synonyms
 has been
significant
Add an article
a significant
the significant
show examples
 problem all over the world. Having said that, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 still no particular restrictions or rules to avoid it. Thereby causing
broadly
Change the word
broad
show examples
obesity
Use synonyms
 in the world. From my point of view, I agree with the idea
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
 the best
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 to deal with
this
Linking Words
 problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. Nowadays, there is a considerable number of parents feeding their
Use synonyms
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
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 Despite the fact they know how unsafe and dangerous to feed it on a daily basis, they cannot help it because it is quite convenient.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 the
widely trending
Replace the word
wide trend
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 of excessive
using
Wrong verb form
use
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a
Correct your spelling
of
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 mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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adolescent
Use synonyms
 tend to stay
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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home
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the vast majority of the time. In my opinion, it is one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
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 why
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity
Use synonyms
 is spreading widely these days. Having said that, if
adolescent
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
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 able to learn about
the
Correct article usage
a
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 healthy diet, it
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 them realize how toxic
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fast food is.
In addition
Linking Words
, introducing physical education more often could make an
adolescent
Use synonyms
 get used to
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
 physical activities
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
Change the word
a
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 daily basis. Not only that but
also
Linking Words
 they can learn how fun
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
physical activity is.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I agree with the idea
of
Change preposition
that
show examples
 introducing more physical activities and lessons in the school curriculum will be a solution
of
Change preposition
to
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widely
Correct article usage
the widely
show examples
 trending
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unhealthy diet and
obesity
Use synonyms
.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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