The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods

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The table compares and contrasts

spending

Correct article usage

the spending

show examples

of five different nations on various products , which are measured in percentage , during the year 2002.

Overall

Linking Words

, most countries spend their money mainly on alcohol and food.

Whereas

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, the least expense

were

Change the verb form

was

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on education and leisure.

To begin

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with , Turkey and Ireland were the nations that spend the most money on drinks and tobacco , and it accounted for 32.14% and 28.91%

While

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the other three countries' cost for these items was 18.80% ,16.36% and 15.77% respectively. Leisure and

letracy

Correct your spelling

literacy

in these countries reported the lowest figure , and Spain was the nation that consumed the least spending and it was only 1.98% in that year. Meanwhile, Italy and Sweden made up almost identical value in education and leisure , and it was 3.20% and 3.22% respectively.

While

Linking Words

Turkey and Ireland had 4.35% and 2.21%.

Clothing

Correct article usage

The clothing

show examples

and footwear sectors held the second most spending in 2002, and it was 9.00% for Italy.

Whereas

Linking Words

, Turkey , Spain and Ireland recorded 6.63%, 6.51% and 6.43% spending in that industry .

However

Linking Words

, Sweden

comparised

Correct your spelling

compared

comprised

the lowest consumption , which was 5.40%.

Submitted by varshajose345 on Sun Apr 09 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

187 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

expenditure
consumer goods
chart
countries
overall
compare
analyze
categories
consumer spending
trends
proportions
statistics
increase
decrease
significant
notable
remarkable
substantial
considerable
determine
conclude
in conclusion

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The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

Government invest in sports is a waste of money. Government must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent are you agree or disagree?

Tourism is a modern form of colonialism. It distorts local economies, causes environmental damage, ruins the places it exploits. To what extent do you agree?

Throughout history, people have dreamed to live in a perfect society while they haven't agreed how what the ideal society would be like. What do you think is the most important element of a perfect society in the modern world? What can people do to achieve an ideal society?

Nowadays children spend lots of time watching television and playing conputers games. However, it does not help in improving children's mental abilities do you agree or disagree.

Many museums charge for admission while orthers are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?