IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Despite the increased access to education a significant number of people cannot read or write. What are the disadvantages and what action should the government take

#access #education #people #action #government
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Nowadays, people have more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
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 to access different
type
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types
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 of source information to gain
further
 knowledge.
However
, there is a fact that plenty of citizens
are still not have
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does still not have
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ability
Add an article
the ability
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 of reading or
writing
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write
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.
This
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In this
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 essay I will discuss the disadvantages of increased access to education. On the one hand,
unable
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being unable
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 to read or write is a barrier
of
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to
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 daily life. citizens have many hurdles in their life if they are illiterate. They can not protect themselves when
person
Add an article
a person
the person
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 is facing
Add an article
a problem
the problem
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problem
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problems
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.
Individuals
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areIndividuals
wereIndividuals
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 unable to read the instructions of the machine. It causes
a
Correct article usage
apply
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serious
complication
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complications
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 and gets hurt.
For example
, a staff who has difficulty
in
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apply
show examples
reading the warning and hazard signs of a product.
Also
, he could not understand the instruction
of
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for
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 the product. He got
a
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apply
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hurt when he was using the machine.
Thus
, it causes
a
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apply
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trouble
in
Change preposition
at
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anytime
Replace the word
any time
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. Government should provide a product learning class to the staff before they use it. It ensures the staff understand how to use
and
Correct pronoun usage
it and
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 have a real demonstration.
On the other hand
, easily deceived by other to take
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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advantage especially
illiterate
Correct article usage
the illiterate
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. Based on
this
 feature, the bad guy may provide some unclear documents to them and signs
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. It is a trap for them. They can not fight for it because of the defect.
For example
, Tim signed the contract which was an unfair contract. He could not fight for his profits. It might have a terrible influence on his later
lives
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life
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 including
fall
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falling
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 into a crime.
Therefore
, it increases the risk of
illiterate
Add a missing verb
being illiterate
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 to a crime. Government should provide more consultation
session
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sessions
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 for them. It provides a chance for them to ask and learn the technique of
sign
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signing
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 a contract. In conclusion,
illiterate
Correct article usage
the illiterate
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 has a lot of
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
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 when they can not know the meaning of words. Government should give more afford to illiterates
improve
Fix the infinitive
to improve
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 their life.
Submitted by anniekaka1993 on

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