Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information maybe relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Introduction

Recently, getting a job

are

Change the verb form

show examples

more and more difficult because there are many works nowadays and it interview

requirement

Fix the agreement mistake

requirements

show examples

need to be thorough. About requires,

while

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

clamed

Correct your spelling

claim

the applicants need

Fix the infinitive

to share

show examples

some private

information

Use synonyms

Change preposition

with

show examples

interviewers

such

Linking Words

as their favourite activities, married status or what excites

you

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

, etc.

Body paragraph 1

But

beside

Replace the word

besides

show examples

that, some

people

Use synonyms

didn’t support

this

Linking Words

opinion because they claim that

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

questions will make some

people

Use synonyms

uncomfortable when you ask them. I strongly believe that the employers had some questions about personal

information

Use synonyms

are important for some reason:

Body paragraph 2

Firstly

Linking Words

, when the employers understand your hobbies or some

information

Use synonyms

Change preposition

about

show examples

you, it is really easy

Change preposition

for

show examples

the company or business

support

Fix the infinitive

to support

show examples

you in work. Every work

are

Change the verb form

show examples

always need assistance,

althrough

Correct your spelling

although

Linking Words

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

jobs are easy or difficult. Understanding and helping are the most things that create

successful

Replace the word

success

show examples

Body paragraph 3

On the other hand

Linking Words

, getting the personal documents of the

people

Use synonyms

applying can help them know their staff weaknesses or strong point to arrange for suitable position work. A suitable position is really vital, it shows you know where you are and what should you improve.

Conclusion

conclution

Correct your spelling

conclusion

understand

Wrong verb form

understanding

show examples

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their staff is the most

things

Fix the agreement mistake

thing

show examples

any business or company need. To support

Linking Words

this things

Change the determiner

this thing

these things

show examples

, you should

open

Add a missing verb

be open

show examples

and confident to show some

your

Change preposition

of your

show examples

personal

information

Use synonyms

. But, you

also

Linking Words

need to know how to keep some

information

Use synonyms

private and not reveal it all.

quynhhoangks123

Apr 10, 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

232 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

job application
personal information
hobbies and interests
marital status
relevant
useful
privacy
assessing candidates
qualifications
experience

What to do next:

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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information maybe relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Some people prefer to get up early in the morning and start the day’s work. Others prefer to get up later in the day and work until late at night. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

329.The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities today is by reducing the need for people to travel from home to work, shopping, and education. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that children should obey rules and listen to their parents and teachers; Some others believe that less control will help children deal with their adult life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many young people leave school with a negative attitude towards education. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage young people to study harder?