There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed

#crimes #year #think #death #penalty #deterrent #people #measures

In the present scenario, crime rates are being increased day by day. Some people opine that these can be reduced by declaring the death sentences as people give more importance to their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. At the same time ,

Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

are individuals who argue that new measures can be introduced to deal with

this

However

,In

this

essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument.

Firstly

, when analysing the point punishing with the death sentence is a very good method to reduce the crime rates. At present, individuals don't even care about penalizing it's only because of the silly punishments that

mean

Verb problem

apply

show examples

our law system needs to be improved.

Whereas

,In my personal perspective, a death warrant is the biggest punishment for a culprit as mentioned earlier society is selfish when

coming

Wrong verb form

it comes

show examples

to their lives.

Moreover

,these, kinds of retributions will help us to create a sense of awareness about the effect of any sort of offence.

Secondly

, when

coming

Wrong verb form

it comes

show examples

to the concept of giving any other kind of punishment like paying a penalty or

should be sent

Wrong verb form

sending

show examples

to jail for a certain period of time, these are the common retributions given to the criminals or culprits by the court but the fact is that they are totally happy with it ,as they know these punishments will not harm them,

instead

it will provide them with a temporary shelter without any payments.

Although

it is clear that

these will not help in reducing the offences. In my opinion, the most effective method is to punish them in the same way as the crime committed.

For example

, if a person does any theft he or she should be sent under the bar or be fined for a certain amount of money.

Otherwise

, a criminal who rapes anyone should be punished in a brutal way like removing genetics.

Further

, a murderer should be given a decease sentence.

Although

, with these kinds of retributions crimes can be controlled. In conclusion, increasing crimes can only be controlled by imposing strict penalizing.

Moreover

, society should be given various awareness sessions regarding crimes. Apart from these children should be aware of the law.fewer atrocities will help to create a happy world.

Submitted by ameeshaaa19 on Mon Apr 10 2023

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clearer and more thorough. Make sure to support your main points in a more detailed and organized manner. Focus on providing a complete response to the task question and use relevant specific examples to support your ideas.

task achievement

Make sure to clearly address the task question and provide comprehensive ideas. Support your points with relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

361 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

deterrent
recidivism
rehabilitation
ethical considerations
economic factors
social factors
community policing
public opinion
recidivism rates
community-driven initiatives
modern policing methods
death penalty
serious crimes
crime rates

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There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Is it good for children to start using a computer at a young age? Give the advantages and disadvantages of doing this.

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today’s society. Do you agree or disagree with this view? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Some people think that family is the most important influence on young adults. Other people think that friends are the most important influence on young adults. Which view do you agree with? Use examples to support your opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge and experience.