the following maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now and plans for its development

the following  maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now and plans for its development
The geographical representation illustrates a small town called Islip as it is present as compared to the improvements made in the future.The number of apparatus has been introduced in the future to give the individuals comfort.
Overall
,Islip has experienced spectacular development
along with
the introduction of many apparatus. It is vividly seen that in the current scenario in the
countryside
Add a comma
,countryside
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there is a number of shops on the North side of the township.The main road is located in the middle of the metropolis.It is connected to two ends of the road in the West to the school and in the East to the park.
Additionally
,housing apparatus are available across the main road near the shops. Probing ahead, a large number of development is projected in the countryside.At the place of , the shops the bus station will be open.A shopping centre will be made between the bus station and the car park in the North direction.The new housing facilities are introduced near the park in the Southeast direction.
Moreover
,more housing facility is estimated in the Northeast corner of the city.The dual carriageway will be projected.There will be pedestrians alongside the shopping centre for the people to move.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Small town
  • Centre
  • Development
  • Maps
  • Plans
  • Introduce
  • Topic
  • Purpose
  • Essay
  • Description
  • Current
  • Key features
  • Facilities
  • Advantages
  • Positive aspects
  • Benefits
  • Proposed
  • Changes
  • Improvements
  • Suggested
  • Potential
  • Course of action
  • Summarize
  • Opinion
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