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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart gives information about how much energy of different categories produced in France over the period of 5 years.

The chart gives information about how much energy of different categories produced in France over the period of 5 years.
#information #energy #categories #france #period #years
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The pie charts compare and contrast the five different ways
energy
 was produced in
France
 , which were measured in percentage , over
a
Change the article
an
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 11-
year
 time period from 1995 to 2005.
Overall
, most
energy
Change to a plural noun
energies
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were
Change the verb form
was
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 produced by gas and coal in
France
.
Whereas
, the least
were
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was
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 from nuclear
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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 and other sectors.
To begin
 with, 29.63% and 29.80% of
energy
 were produced from gas and coal in the initial
year
 , and after 11 years it reported a slight increase in
energy
 production in both sectors and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 accounted
30.31
Change preposition
for 30.31
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% and 30.93% respectively. Meanwhile, the nuclear industry and other sectors were the areas that made up less source of
energy
 in
France
, and it was only 6.40% and 4.90% in 1995 .
However
, in 2005 the
energy
 production in those industries
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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rose dramatically and reached 10.10% and 9.10% in that
year
.
By contrast
,
petro
Correct your spelling
petrol
 was the second major source of
energy
 production for
France
 and it constituted 29.27% in 1995. But , after
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
11 years , it comprised a significant fall in their rating and recorded 19.55% in the
last
year
.
Submitted by varshajose345 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, france, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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