With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem?

#deforestation #development #species #habitat #point #extinction #animals #measures

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Many

animals

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have suffered from

human's

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human

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selfish actions,

such

Linking Words

as cutting down trees, urbanization and poaching, which leads to more and more endangered species and extinction. In my opinion,

although

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these revolutions have given

a huge benefits

Correct the article-noun agreement

huge benefits

a huge benefit

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

our lives, human beings have

responsibility

Correct article usage

a responsibility

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for protecting

animals

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to a large extent. I believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

intervention from governments and zoos can help

solving

Wrong verb form

solve

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this

Linking Words

issue.

To begin

Linking Words

with, there was

Add an article

a more

show examples

equal balance between humans and

animals

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in olden times.

Animals

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in forests used to be hunted for

certain

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a certain

show examples

amount of daily food, but now some

animals

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have been killed for clothing,

such

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as fur products.

However

Linking Words

beatiful

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beautiful

seanery

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scenery

deanery

and rare species attract

turists

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tourists

which can bring about significant income for

economy

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the economy

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Therefore

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, the importance

for

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show examples

animals

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should be gotten more awareness and

protections

Fix the agreement mistake

protection

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are considered seriously. To deal with

isse

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issue

issues

firstly

Linking Words

, governments should implement stricter rules against

poarching

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poaching

and organize guards to protect

animals

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. Some products,

which

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in which

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endangered

spices

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species

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are utilized, should be forbidden as well.

Moreover

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

deforestation

have

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has

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proceeded constantly, more

tree-planting

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tree planting

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should be arranged.

Additionally

Linking Words

, zoos can offer professionally-run breeding and rehabilitation programmes.

Linking Words

This

Correct determiner usage

These

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advantages should be taken advantage of in order to prevent

from

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apply

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extinction. In

concolusion

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conclusion

, more and more endangered species and extinction have been reported in modern days

due to

Linking Words

the fact that human beings have deprived animal habitats and food availability, it is time for humanity to take action to preserve

animals

Use synonyms

with some changed government policies and zoos.

Submitted by nanamach87 on Mon Apr 10 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

247 words

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With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threatened to the point of extinction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with this problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A rise in the use of mobile phones in the classroom by school children is severely impacting their concentration in class and overall education development. What are the causes of the problem and what can be done to solve it ?

The time people devote to the job leaves very little time for personal life. How widespread is the problem? What problem will this shortage of time cause?

Task 2: More and more tasks we do at home and at work these days are done by robots. Is this a positive or negative development?