IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cuties. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cuties. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates how frequently
people
Use synonyms
 take hot drinks
such
Linking Words
 as Tea and
Coffee
Use synonyms
 in five cities
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Australia.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 most men and women prefer to drink and spend some time in
coffee
Use synonyms
 shops
instead
Linking Words
 of taking it away. Most
people
Use synonyms
 went to take a
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea and bought an instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 month. Among the five cities, in four of them the rates of
people
Use synonyms
 who went to a cafe for a drink is higher than others, as we can see Melbourn is at the top with above 60 per cent but in ,Adelaide it was seen that
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to buy instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 more than have cold drinks inside the
coffee
Use synonyms
 shops, about 55
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 in Hobart took instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks
that is
Linking Words
 the highest percentage among other 4 cities.
Overall
Linking Words
 we can see that there are lots of
people
Use synonyms
 who want to spend some
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 in cofe
instead
Linking Words
 of taking fresh drinks.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "instead, last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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