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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#factors #people #workforce #money #reason #factor
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Numerous
factors
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 contribute to engaging
people
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 in their work or business.
It is
Correct pronoun usage
Is
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 argued that
money
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 is one of the most important
factors
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 to motivate
people
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while
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 others are of the view that self-satisfaction and
health
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 are far more crucial rather than
money
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. I agreed with the fact that
money
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 is one of the vital
factors
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 to motivate
people
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 to stay focused and active.
Motivation
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 is the need of the hour for many individuals to stay focused and attentive toward their business or job.
This
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motivation
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 can largely be drawn from the
money
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 he/she earned. Since everyone needs
money
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 in one way or other to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 the basic needs of daily life and to transform his/her lifestyle.
Similarly
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, many multinational entities tend to attract or engage their employees by offering yearly Bonuses, cash prizes, and appreciation tokens.
People
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 all around the world travel to different cities and countries in search of a good job and ultimately to earn enough
money
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 to enjoy life. Mental
health
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 and self-satisfaction are deemed as crucial as
money
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.
Therefore
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,
money
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 should not come at the cost of
health
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 and other disturbing
factors
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.
Furthermore
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, the extent of
motivation
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 depends upon the individuals since some
people
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 achieve
motivation
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 through
money
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while
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 other needs appreciation.
Similarly
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, peoples prefer family and friends gathering over extra
money
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 or extra earnings.
Such
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 peoples draw
motivation
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 from their families or friends. Work environment and task completion are amongst the attributes that play their part in
motivation
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.
To sum up
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,
money
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 is the principal factor
while
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 attracting
people
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 to the workforce or business.
However
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, family,
health
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, and social life should not be compromised for the sack of
money
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.
Submitted by ahmed.22waqas on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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